To See Colors
by rosegardenlake
Summary: Keith's never believed in love or colors, but one day, he looks over and his monochrome world is bathed in it. A loner to a fault, he's not sure what to do. His soulmate can't see colors or Keith. His soulmate is blind. {Sheith Soulmate AU}
1. Chapter 1

When Keith had been younger, he had ignored the warnings from his father and snuck a knife to school. He hadn't used it. No one found him out. But as he was practicing twirling it behind the gym, he had been startled by the sound of nearby laughter and fumbled.

Cursed with thin skin, the knife had pierced him just right, drawing a pool of blood to his paper white flesh. It had bubbled up above the surface and poured over without permission. Keith pressed his hand to the wound, but it blossomed through his fingers and grew, an unstoppable force, pouring out of him, pushed out by the force of his heart.

He had felt panic. Fear. He was alone and didn't know how to stop it.

He had been a boy then. He wasn't a boy now.

He hadn't thought about that incident since it had happened, but, years later, walking through campus after his last class, it all came flooding back - an unwanted wave of familiar emotions that rose up inside of him, sweeping away without mercy.

He had turned at some annoying clicking sound and that's when everything changed.

Keith saw _him_.

He didn't even know who _he_ was, but suddenly, his world was metamorphosing. Literally. Bleeding in growing blossoms.

He had heard of it before - _colors_. He had only known varying degrees of greys and that's what he expected out of the rest of his life. Only some, the lucky ones, would ever see colors.

When he was a child, naive and small, his greatest wish was to be like his mother and father, to be one of the lucky ones - special - guided by the hand of fate. He wanted to meet the one destined for him.

But life happened and he grew wiser. Grey became his comfortable niche.

The charmed were loved. Not orphans who'd grown up cycling out of foster family after foster family, hearts long gone bitter and cold.

People like Keith didn't believe in soul mates. He didn't have a family. He didn't even have a car. He lived in a shitty little apartment that even a dog would snub its nose at. No, Keith didn't have happy endings. He had resigned himself to live in his world of black and white. That had been fine by him.

But suddenly, he felt like he was _bleeding_. His familiar mellow greys were becoming too bright, too vivid, too much. His blacks were morphing, changing, richer, deeper into dimensions he didn't want to know existed. The world he'd come to understand was writhing and manifesting into something else, something painfully foreign. It was like drinking what you thought was water only to find vodka, or going to toss yourself into blankets of silk and landing into a vat of sandpaper. Too much. It was all too much.

No, he wasn't hurt, but he couldn't _breathe_. His senses were overwhelming him. He was a balloon about to pop.

He could sense people staring. Walking past, eyes tracked on his face, worrying. One girl reached out, only to be quickly shushed by her friend.

Too much.

Colors. He knew what it was the second it started happening. He still couldn't breathe.

Because his soulmate was right there doused in colors, walking ahead of him. He was everything Keith would've wanted him to be and more: tall, handsome, smiling, perfect. His voice was so softly pleasant it sounded like the sun in mortal form.

And Keith... Keith was just...

It was the world's sick joke, laughing at him. Dangling everything he wanted in his face, setting him up to fail.

Face crumpling, he pushed past a person in the way and ran all the way back home.

It wasn't that most of the people on earth had a soulmate, it wasn't that at all. It was just that those who did were considered the ideal, the height of love and happiness, so most of the population glamorized it, hoping that, one day, that could be them.

Colors meant you were loved. No ands, ifs or buts. It just _was_.

Keith had believed in love fiercely as a child when his father had lost all hope in it. Keith thought if you believed, then it made it true, and others would see that too, and maybe his father's heart would be cured.

But then the one person he'd ever loved had left him alone in their home on Christmas Eve and never came back. If he had been naive enough to think it was a mistake at first, time healed him of that naivete. Slowly, he realized that love was a lie.

His world had been grey, and in some sick masochistic way, Keith liked that it was. His father hadn't loved him, no one would, and that was his signature. He wouldn't love anyone either. Fuck everyone else.

But it had hurt seeing his foster brothers and sisters lighting up with awe and delighted surprise when they were told they got a family - someone to love them. As Keith stood there, unchosen, rejected.

A secret part of him, buried deep in his heart, had always longed for that moment too. For the world to tell him that he did belong. That he was born to be loved, like those who were the luckiest: those who saw colors.

Keith was scared.

All the colors were burning into his retinas and he couldn't stop the shaking. His hands were so...so... _pink_. He'd heard about it, the vividness, the overwhelming rush attacking the senses, but to experience it was another thing. He just wished he could go back to how things were.

He hadn't even gotten a good look at that guy who had torn his comforting greys from him, but he thought maybe it'd be best if it stayed that way. Keith knew his own reputation. He didn't know if he could take it if his soulmate took one look at him and turned away just like everyone else.

He was probably the grungiest most foul-mouthed person on the entire campus. People knew it. Even he felt ashamed sometimes.

He quickly promised himself he wouldn't go looking for this soulmate. His newfound vision was enough to deal with. It'd keep him distracted. It was good in that way.

But the next day, he was already breaking that promise.

He shoved some sunglasses on to filter out the colors, and crept around the school, quietly. Hands shoved in pockets and hoodie up, he wandered around the quad, eyes discreetly searching out any tall bulky figure.

He wasn't going to go after the person, oh no, he probably wouldn't even stare. He was just going to double-check. See if anything else happened. Maybe it was a mistake and his vision would go back to grey and he could take off those damn stupid sunglasses.

People kept giving him looks. In the middle of December, the sun was covered by clouds and night began to set around four in the afternoon. Sunglasses were just weird. Weirder than usual, even for him.

It took all afternoon of searching. And right as he sighed in defeat, leaning against a street lamp, frowning and thinking, he saw _him_ walk into the light.

Without the shock and disorientation, Keith allowed himself to look properly. Closer. Dark hair, an undercut, a strange little white forelock that bobbed as he took each step. There was a thick scar across his nose, a deeper red than the rest of his face, but he wore it with a confidence that said it didn't bother him. He was laughing again, always that brilliant smile, walking out of the musty auditorium Keith always avoided when there were events going on.

He had friends on either side, enthralled in whatever conversation they were having. He had some sort of cane - an injury? - but Keith wasn't paying attention. He was too busy disobeying himself and barreling out of the barrier of the street lamp's light into their pathway. He had to know what his soulmate would see. He had to. Before this chance walked away from him.

Everyone stopped abruptly, tossing looks that ranged from apprehension to disapproval. None were welcoming.

Keith placed himself right in front of his soulmate, heels clicking hard into the cement, his arms crossed, glaring, as you did when you wanted to properly introduce yourself.

His soulmate blinked in confusion.

This was the moment Keith had been waiting for... The moment fate made colors bleed into his vision. A soft gasp, maybe. A brief look of surprise. Maybe he'd be sick and disappointed. Maybe, just maybe, his smile would grow.

He looked up - Keith sucked in a breath, time standing still - but if he was waiting for that response, he'd be waiting for a long time. There was nothing - no recognition, no surprise, no flicker of _anything_ but confusion. A soft smile found its way to his lips instead and he asked hesitantly, but kindly, "can I help you?"

"Shiro," his friend murmured lowly, tugging his sleeve so that he followed, walking around Keith like he were a random stone tossed into the path. He whispered loudly, standing on his tiptoes to reach Shiro's ear. "It's that one kid. Kogane. Let's go."

Shiro drew a little taller, half-turning back. "Huh? But what does he want? Why are we leaving?"

A loud sigh from his friend. "You're hopeless."

Keith turned slowly, but they were already a few feet down the path, walking off and away from him.

He hadn't reacted to Keith at all. Not even a suppressed reaction. Not even with hatred.

That was... "Disappointing" was the word that Keith allowed himself to admit, but "crushing" was more on par to how he felt.

Keith didn't want to admit it to himself, wanted to stay strong, but his heart sunk, deep and sticky into his hollow dark stomach. His throat tightened. His eyes narrowed in anger.

Typical. So typical.

He dug into his pockets and didn't stop until he found a cigarette. He lit it, acutely aware of the glares he was already getting from the people exiting the auditorium. Apparently stars and smoke didn't seem to mix to them. But he thought it did. For the moment, he admired the bright glowing red at the end of his cigarette, liked the way this newfound color burned into his eyes with its intensity alone.

"Piss off," he growled at someone who had stopped in front of him, mouth opened long with the tall eyebrows that just screamed _lecture_.

His tone was good - the person turned and scurried away - but there was no satisfaction in his heart. Not then. He felt like he'd lost somehow.

He was seeing rainbows of color where Shiro had turned away.

"Two soulmates?" His friend repeated over the phone as Keith closed his eyes tightly and rubbed his forehead.

Keith had met Lance when he was at the orphanage. He'd spotted a child on the other side of the fence, belonging to an actual family that lived nearby in an actual home, and they'd both been fascinated by each other's differences. They fought a lot, but Lance was as close to a brother as Keith had ever had and the only person he might admit to calling a friend. Basically the only person he could call at all, but that was beside the point.

"Yeah, like, if Person A sees Person B and bam - colors. But Person B saw colors initially with Person C."

"Not Person A?"

"Right."

"...You're saying this is a question on your test tomorrow? Which class?"

"Lance, shut it. Just answer the question."

"I'm just saying, it's kind of a weird question for school. Some people don't even believe in the soulmate stuff. I mean, you don't, do you?"

Keith knew Lance well enough to know where this conversation was going. "If I have to hear about you and your girlfriend of the week one more time..."

"A month. We've been dating almost a month now."

"Look, I don't care. Can that exist? Soulmate triangles?"

"Keith. Buddy. I know you respect me as someone who's very adept at this sort of thing, but even I don't know. It's surprising, I know. I just don't think it exists."

"But..."

A knowing tone. Keith could almost see the raised eyebrow, amused and coy. "Are you sure this is for school?"

"Yep. Bye."

"Keith, wait -"

Keith hung up before Lance could get another word in.

He kicked his socks off vehemently.

The yellow of his socks hurt him so he didn't mind when they slipped behind his desk, gone forever. He'd never known what an irritating color it could be on a headache.

Sighing, he pressed his fingers into his temples and closed his eyes, letting his mind stray from the bafflement of the colors for a few minutes at the least.

Why? _Why_ hadn't his soulmate seen colors? Or was he really that cool he could just...not react? Keith didn't know. He _looked_ like he could be that cool, but who want to pretend? For what reason? If he hated Keith that much, couldn't he just tell him to fuck off instead? It'd be easier. It didn't make sense not to.

Colors were supposed to be _simple_. You see them and boom. You fall in love.

Keith knew all about love though.

"Tomorrow, I'll ask him," he said. It was driving him crazy.

It wasn't hard to find him when you learned what to look for. Crowds.

Shiro, as Keith was finding out, was incredibly popular. This just meant he was nearly impossible to find _alone_. If it wasn't someone clinging to his arm, it was someone skipping alongside him or yelling across the quad for him. Each one of them seemed to be able to read Keith's mind, shielding Shiro from him.

In general, Keith tried to remain indifferent about things until proven otherwise. But there were several things Keith knew he just flat out didn't like.

The first was talking to people.

The second was large groups of people.

The third was having to talk to people who were in large groups of other people.

He followed a good distance behind Shiro, unhappily, unwillingly, but stubbornly, hoping for his chance. None came.

How could one person be so damn popular? The more he followed, the more he felt, like a thorn in his heart, that Shiro could not be his soulmate.

He was too well-loved. Too perfect. He never stopped smiling, never stopped encouraging.

It was like he was this god on earth, sent down to give peace to all these messed up humans. His goodness balanced out their mortality.

The more he watched, the more he was convinced that Shiro might actually be an angel.

He helped people with their homework, clapping him on their backs like they were his grandchildren. People came up to him asking for advice - _advice_ on anything and everything. Family advice, relationship advice, pet advice, career advice... Keith never knew of someone he trusted enough to do any of those things. This guy was unreal. People loved him. And he loved them back.

Frustration built, and then anger.

This was all wrong.

Keith was the soot in a fire pit, the tar stuck to the bottom of a shoe, the gas leaked out of a dying vehicle.

If he reached out to Shiro, he could stain him. So, question still in his mouth, he swallowed his words down hard, and stepped back, into the shadows.

Soulmate or not, it didn't matter. Keith couldn't sully someone so good. Even he wouldn't do that.

He moped the rest of the week. He knew it'd be in his best interest to let it all blow away, let himself forget, but he couldn't. Now that he was aware of Shiro's presence, it was like Shiro was everywhere at once. Maybe he was drawn in by some magnetic pull, Keith didn't know, but suddenly, the only person he ever seemed to see was Shiro.

You couldn't miss him.

He had the best back.

Keith tried not to look, he really did, but his determination barely lasted him the first few days before he caved. He decided looking wasn't the demon here, it'd be going after Shiro and _socializing_. So as long as he just admired from a distance, it'd do no harm. Shiro never had to know.

Slowly, without realizing it, Keith was beginning to pick up on Shiro's mannerisms. And they were...endearing to say the least. The little toss of his shoulders when he'd shrug. The way he'd let his head fall back when he laughed really hard, or how he'd press his hands to his belly when he found something especially funny.

Keith learned that it didn't take much to make Shiro laugh. He was always ready to do it. Like a young Santa Claus or something, he was jolly and magical - a person who was born of the stars and lived somewhere magical in a faraway land.

They were rare times when Shiro would blush, but when he did, Keith found himself thankful, for once, that he could see color. He'd pull his sunglasses down and allow the sight to bombard him. Redness in Shiro's cheeks and on the tip of his nose, but the red was soft somehow. Glowing. You didn't get that in black in white. It tugged at Keith's chest painfully.

Several times, Keith had meant to go to the library or the cafeteria to study but found himself hanging around where Shiro was, watching from underneath his eyelashes, trying to be discreet. He found he cared less and less whether someone caught him looking.

His grades were beginning to suffer. Instead of studying, he stared. Instead of concentrating on the labs mid-class, he was wondering where Shiro might be. His partner was growing more and more irritated with his bullshit and was beginning to yank the bottles out of his hands roughly without preamble.

He was becoming a full-fledged stalker he realized, and it wasn't like him. This was infatuation. This was silly school-girl stuff. So what if Shiro was his soulmate? It meant nothing. He was Keith. He needed to focus.

But focusing was hard.

One typical afternoon, he was in his room, sitting at his desk and biting at the end of his pencil thinking about Shiro and those rosy cheeks when he heard his phone ring. He snatched it up without looking and answered it.

"Lance."

"Keith."

Keith watched out the window as it began to rain, slapping against his window. Big drops, but few at the moment. It was dark and it was cold and he was tired.

Keith waited for awhile and then cleared his throat, irritated. "What did you call for?"

"Oh. Nothing. Just wondering if you were alive still."

"Why does your tone make me feel like you're up to something? You're not waiting outside for a surprise visit or something, are you? You know I'll cheerfully kill you if you do that to me."

Lance heaved a long-suffering sigh. "I'm not _up to_ anything. You just usually call me once in awhile. Like once every two weeks _at least_ and you _haven't_. I thought maybe you were dead."

"I texted you," Keith grumbled, thinking back over the past week.

"Yeah, you answered 'yes' to a question that was not a yes or no kind of question. You were no help at all. I had to call _Coran_."

Keith sighed, rubbing the end of his cold nose with his hand. "Sorry. I've been buried in homework lately. I haven't been feeling sharp these past few weeks."

"Go out."

" _No_."

"Right this instant. That's an order."

"I don't take orders from you."

"This is a direct order from your Lancey-Lance."

"You are _not_ my Lancey-Lance. ...God. I can't believe you just made me say that."

"Okay, okay. Listen to me. How long have we known each other?"

"Since forever."

"A long time. A long, long, long time. I know you like the back of my hand. And listen to me when I say that you need a break. You've been smoking a lot more lately, haven't you?"

"I haven't," Keith grunted irritably.

"Look at your ashtray."

Keith pinched his nose in frustration, but his eyes slipped to the ashtray of their own volition. Dammit. How did he know?

"Am I riiighhhttt?" Lance sung lowly.

Keith breathed out bitterly. "Damn you."

"Yep. So just trust me, your ol' buddy, your ol' pal, looking out for you. Just a half hour. Go to the local cafe or something. Get yourself a coffee."

"I can't afford that."

"It's like twenty-five cents."

Keith chewed on the inside of his cheek in boredom. "I rest my case."

"Are you that lame that I really need to send you a quarter? I'll do it, you know. You won't be able to stop me."

"I think postage is like fifty cents now."

"Stop procrastinating and _go_. Check your mail in a few days, you cheapskate."

Keith groaned into the phone loudly for dramatic effect, but Lance had already hung up.

He let his head slam into the desk, but he knew that Lance was right. He'd been acting a bit like a nut job lately and he didn't want to sink too far into that hole. His mind was always Shiro-this and Shiro-that and it was getting ridiculous. Shiro was a person (probably), not a god (he didn't have the proof yet). He needed to get some fresh air.

So he got to his feet and shoved on his least dirty jacket, smelling it and frowning, before he walked down to the campus cafe. It was a cute little thing painted in neutrals that suited Keith's eyes just fine and arranged to be extra cozy, but it was always busy, even at weird times in the evening, so he hunched his shoulders and flipped his hoodie over his head. Like that'd actually do anything but make him look suspicious and creepy.

He felt better though and ordered himself the cheapest coffee he could. Once he kissed his quarter goodbye, he went and got his money's worth by dumping heapfuls of sugar into his cup. It was probably too much, even for him, but he had to entertain himself somehow.

He turned to head out when his eye caught the sign over the counter that said in a rainbow of colors, "Soulmate Frappuccino". Keith blinked, thrown off by the brightness of it all, when he ran face-first into something hard.

His sugar-coffee went everywhere, dousing his cleanest jacket and offending stranger in too-hot bean juice. The brick wall that Keith had run into was actually a person. A very tall, very familiar person.

"I-I'm so sorry," Keith whispered faintly, staring up at Shiro. He was even more angelic up close, the glow of his skin and the glittering of his eyes sharply apparent.

Keith scrambled. He abandoned his coffee in the trash bin and snatched up the napkins. He shoved them at Shiro's chest, who happened to be wearing a white shirt that was no longer going to be white ever again.

"I'm _so_ sorry," Keith said again in horror.

"No problem, no problem," Shiro said soothingly, catching the napkins Keith was still jamming at him. He was smiling somehow.

But he was the only one. Keith could feel the glares on his back, animosity oozing off of every soul in the building. It was a busy place and it was filled with people, each one wanting to strangle Keith.

He had dumped coffee on their beloved.

He stumbled.

"Seriously," Shiro said gently. "I'm alright. It was my fault. I need to be more careful. Are you okay? Did it burn you?"

"I..." It was obvious that more of it had gone all over Shiro than on Keith, but his mind was too scrambled to get that out in a sentence that made sense, so he just shrugged.

"I don't think we've met before," Shiro said pleasantly, actually extending his hand in greeting. "My name's Shiro."

"I..." _Keith_. His name was Keith. He almost said it, but suddenly, he was scared to. This was just what he had told himself not to do. He couldn't get too close. He'd be burned by the sun.

"Sorry," he breathed, and ran, pushing past a group of Shiro's friends, always a step away.

When he got to his room, his phone beeped. He fished it out and frowned at the screen, exhausted. The bright blue was killing him; he wanted to throw up.

 _You're better now. I already know_.

Damn Lance.

Keith typed out in a flurry, _If 'better' means dumping hot coffee all over the school's golden boy and wasting a perfectly good quarter then yeah, I'm the best._

He turned off his phone before Lance could annoy him further and let himself fall face-first into his bed with an agonized groan.

As if this could get any worse. He forced himself to close his eyes and drift off into fitful sleep.

* * *

Notes:

HI. I already have this over on AO3 but I figured I'd post it here too. I dunno if it's my BROWSER or ME or WHAT but I am having problems trying to upload the thing so I am sorry if it's a huge mess. OTL This was originally a Secret Santa gift for ImpendingExodus!


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning was worse because he actually did burn himself a bit, and if he was hurting, it meant that Shiro was hurting too.

He'd burned his soulmate, literally.

And his soulmate didn't even know his name yet.

This is what would happen, but worse, if he got close to Shiro. So he made it his mission to stay far away. With conviction this time. Yeah.

He knew Shiro's schedule by now. A lot of their classes crossed paths in between, so he made sure to take the long ways around.

Good exercise, he told himself. He hated exercise.

It felt lonelier now, knowing that the color spread all over his world was because of Shiro, and he couldn't even have him. Every moment he looked around, every time he started at a new tone, he was reminded that it was because of Shiro.

It made him sad.

Despite his best efforts, he was dwelling in it during lab again, mind full of cotton.

"Uh..." His lab partner said with a slight frown, staring down at his hands. "You know. You might want to keep that off your hands."

"Hm?" Keith looked down. Whatever was in the test tube had spilled over the top and was dripping down his skin.

"Were you not listening at all?" An aggravated sigh. "Here. Take baking soda. Rub it all over your hands and then rinse it. Then do it again. That soapy feeling you'll get when the water washes it away? Rest assured knowing that's the feeling of your skin coming off."

"...Oh." Keith vaguely recalled their teacher saying something about that. He wandered off to the sink to do what his partner said.

"Leave the science to me," she said when Keith returned.

"I'm sorry. I've been distracted lately."

She gave him an arched eyebrow and kept working. He sat there and watched her at her work. She was tiny with a baby-face, which made her look like she was in elementary school and not college, but she did everything with such confidence no one dared question her.

She looked over at Keith. "Can you get me that pipette?"

He handed it to her.

"You know," she muttered, 95% of her concentration on her science and the rest spared for Keith. "You've seemed out of it lately. More than usual."

"Hm..."

"I always thought you were the kind who liked to focus."

"I do. I've just been..." He trailed off. Even he didn't know.

She straightened, actually setting the pipette down to analyze him. "Remember how we got partnered up?"

"No?"

"When the teacher said to find a partner, we both made a beeline to her to ask if we could work alone. That's how."

Keith sniffed roughly.

"People say you're a demon sometimes. A real shitty person. They say you've killed a man. Say you shoot up in the bathrooms."

Keith let out a soul-weary sigh.

"I don't think you do that," she said, voice firm, like that meant the world.

And it sort of did. Keith felt the weight in his chest unwind just a hair, but it was a relief he longed for.

"...Thanks," he said softly.

"People are shitty," she muttered, snatching up her tools of destruction to get back to work. "Don't let them get to you."

"It's not that," Keith said, slipping her another tool that she pointed to. "I just..." He shrugged.

"Lost. I get it. People say I don't belong here either. I mean, in a way, they're right. I should be in middle school technically." She pushed her glasses up her nose. "But I like it here just fine, so screw 'em."

"Ah, you're a prodigy," he hummed.

"You didn't know? Some people say I'm the next Einstein."

"Do you think you're the next Einstein?"

"No." She said, leaning down to measure something out. "I think I'm better."

Keith grinned at that and she laughed, smile wide.

"Look, maybe I know of something that could help you. My brother's having a Christmas party this weekend. Knowing my brother, it's going to be dorky probably, but there'll be alcohol. I hear that's a thing people like at these sort of get-togethers."

Keith chuckled under his breath. "You don't?"

"I'm fourteen."

"And so?"

"No." She pushed her glasses up again. "But you look like you might need it. Maybe you'll make some friends too, who knows. I'll be there."

"Now I have to go."

"Smart boy. Here. I'll write down the address in your notebook. Oh, and look at that, you got to keep your skin. Looks like I caught it in time."

Keith flipped his hands over. They were red and irritated, but nothing too terrible. "Thanks."

"If you know what's good for you, you'll go to the party. Just stop by. Worst thing that happens is you'll leave immediately and go home to sit around for the rest of the night. How's that any different from what you'll already do?"

Keith laughed softly down at the floor. He felt like he should probably be offended but somehow couldn't muster it. "Ouch."

She shrugged, completely unconcerned. "Not that I'm much different."

Keith was quiet for awhile, watching the acid they were working with eat away at a penny. Maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought. Maybe it was nicer than he thought it'd be.

"Maybe I'll go," he said and that was the best answer he could possibly give to her.

She smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

"Who's your brother?"

"His name's Matt. Matt Holt."

Keith froze, his entire body going rigid. He knew that name. That was Shiro's shadow, the one who glared and bared his teeth like Shiro's protective guard dog.

That meant...Shiro would probably be there.

Keith wasn't sure if that made him want to go more or less.

"Don't bail." Pidge said. "You look like the type to bail at the last minute."

"I'll go," he said defensively, though he could feel his mind going back and forth already, like the coward he was.

He had really meant that he'd go when he was in class talking with Pidge, but in his apartment, huddled in blankets and cleaned of the day's cold harsh work , he realized that actually sounded like the last thing he wanted to do in the world. Ever.

But then Shiro would be there.

But then he'd made himself a pact to not communicate with Shiro. With conviction. That word was supposed to mean something.

Well, he didn't need to actually talk to him. He could just watch.

But then he'd be being creepy if he just watched, and besides, Shiro knew of his presence now after the Coffee Incident. What if he came up to Keith first?

Yeah, he realized it was a really bad idea and he should just stop poking at fate. He was going to keep that box closed, stay focused on his schoolwork, go back to how life was before.

But then, the day of the party, his phone went off.

He sighed, frowning at the name. With a sigh, he answered it.

"Tell me you're not being a loser in your room by yourself right now."

"Tell me why you suck so much."

"Keith. Buddy. Pal." Lance was starting to take on a tone of pity . Pity!

"Save your sympathy, friend, because I am actually not staying in today."

"Wow." Lance sounded genuinely surprised. "Making a quick stop at McDonald's, are you?"

"You sicken me. No, as a matter of fact, I'm going to a party."

"A party."

"Yeah. A girl invited me."

"A girl ?" Immediate interest. His voice got louder as he leaned closer into his phone. "Tell me more."

Keith regretted teasing Lance immediately. Lance was starting to rub off on him and he hated it. He groaned. "I've got to get ready. Did you call for a reason?"

"No, no. No, no, no, no, no. Don't you hang up on me when we're finally talking about something interesting. I was worried about you! Sammy was worried about you!"

"Who is Sammy?"

"Dude. My girlfriend."

"Ah. Right. Well, if you're not calling for anything important -"

"I am, I am! I wanted to lend you some inspirational advice since I know you're probably just stewing in silence right now, alone, in the cold."

Keith let out an enormous whiney groan that sounded more elephant than human.

"The advice goes as follows: live a little."

"I swear to god, that is the shittiest advice -"

"Is it, though? Try it out and see. Girls are waiting, my man. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if you just wiped that snarl off your face for a few minutes, you've actually got a decent mug. I'd bet -"

"Lance, I swear to god. You've got to stop calling me. Just send me a text or something; I hate the phone. If it's something important, then that's one thing, but -"

"-Keith," Lance said, his voice firming and sobering up. The usual jovial tone lowered. "Buddy. I am being serious. You're starting to get a little dark lately, you know? Ever since you went to college, I can't look after you anymore. Mom and Dad ask about you everyday and you never call. They care about you. We all do. Make some friends, yeah? You're actually kind of a softie once you let someone in. They're all scared for nothing; and you are too."

"I'm not scared," Keith mumbled lowly, but his fire was doused. He sighed into his hand and rubbed his face roughly. "Okay. I got it. Message received. I'll try a little."

"All I can ask, buddy. You'll do great."

"It's just a party," he grunted.

"As I recall, I was always the one dragging you into any parties you ever attended. Like trying to force a cat into water."

"I'll go. I swear."

"Let me know how it goes. Mom and Dad'll be happy."

So that's how Keith ended up having to go to a party.

Though he never had a family and could never fully trust a person again, he did have Lance, and Lance's very large family always tried to make him feel at home. It wasn't home though, it never had been. It was Lance's home, Lance's comfort, with the people who loved Lance the most.

It didn't mean Keith wasn't grateful to them or that he didn't care. He did. But he still felt like he was searching. Somewhere. For something.

But he could do at least this for them. Like Pidge said, he could go in, turn around, and leave.

She had said 'dorky' and Matt kind of looked the stereotype, so maybe it wouldn't be a typical party, Keith quietly hoped.

Before he had even made it to the address she had written down, he could hear the music thudding through the walls and bouncing the cement floor beneath his feet. So much for hope. His shoes were vibrating and he was already hating himself and this party. Chatter was pouring through the windows. God.

The yellow of the street lamps was surprisingly vivid and caught his attention. Color. It reminded him that maybe he was there for a reason.

If Shiro wasn't there, he'd turn around and leave. If Shiro was there, he'd turn around, hide in a corner, and pretend to not watch.

Wait, no, that wasn't the plan. He kept forgetting - no creepiness.

He sighed loudly, tossing a glare at a couple who were walking by, staring at him stopped in the middle of the pathway. Screw the plan. Screw it all. He was going to get drunk.

When he knocked on the door, Matt answered and immediately did a double-take.

"Uh..." Matt said, looking as if he was balancing between denying him entry and nervously opening the door wider.

"Pidge invited me," Keith said. "She said she'd be here."

" Pidge did ?" Matt squeaked. He turned to look over his shoulder and searched the people littering the rooms. "I... Okay. Okay, that's fine..." He let the door hang wider before he walked off, muttering something about Pidge needing to select her friends more carefully.

Hesitantly, Keith took a step inside.

It was true, Lance was the one who was good at parties. Keith was the one who was good at staying home. Which was ironic, considering the entire school thought Keith was wreaking havoc on the town riding around on his bike and breaking windows with his baseball bat or some shit. He didn't even have a baseball bat. He didn't play.

Needless to say, he had barely made two steps in and he already felt more awkward than he had in years. He thought of Lance and his family, worried for him. He thought of his dark moods lately and how things were starting to matter less and less to him. He needed this. Probably. If not to make friends, then to shock himself into appreciating what he had - some peace and quiet.

Why did music have to be this loud? Why were there so many people? They were milling around like ants, passing by him roughly. Some raising eyebrows at him, others just ignoring completely. He felt old; too old for this shit.

He saw a familiar face and made a beeline through the crowd.

"Well, well, well," Pidge drawled from the punch bowl, grabbing a cup for him and filling it. "You came. I didn't think you would, honestly."

"Yeah, I was going to bail, but then my friend called me out on what a total loser I was and I lied to him and said I was going to a party."

She snorted, shoving the cup at him. "My brother told me I could hang out here and then conned me into manning the punch station. This is basically child slave labor."

"What's in this?" Keith looked down at the innocent liquid and sniffed it.

"Nothing I can drink. You'll be fine."

"Well. You did save my hands from burning the other day, so I guess I'll trust you."

"Probably more than you can trust yourself, honestly."

He downed the cup and set it down. She refilled it. He tapped his foot antsily against the wall as he cast his eyes around, searching.

"You look really out of place," she said.

"You don't, actually."

"What are you saying?" She rolled her eyes, refilling the cup of someone else who came by, who eyed Keith curiously. "I'm little more than half the size of everyone here."

Keith hummed.

Pidge nodded to the student who was walking away, disappearing into the crowd that was swaying in the flashing lights. "She was checking you out. Maybe you're not as out of place as I thought."

Keith hummed again. Drank some more. "You're the genius. Wouldn't you know?"

"Funny. Mechanics I know. Technology? Science? Of course. People? Eh. Not so interesting."

"Not so interesting," Keith sighed. He was messing with the rim of his cup, pursing his lips. He hadn't seen Shiro yet. Not that he was actively looking, but it was a feeling. He wasn't in the crowd. It was like knowing the stars weren't out yet. You just did.

"Who is it?" Pidge crossed her arms and leaned over the counter, looking at him with raised expectant eyebrows.

Keith frowned. "What?"

"You're not being subtle, if that's something you're trying to do. So. Who is it?"

"There's no one." He took another drink.

She smiled wider.

He sighed.

"It's fine. You don't have to tell me. I bet I can figure out who it is by the end of the night though."

"Not if I leave right now."

"So there is someone ."

"I -" His hands stilled on the edge of the cup and he narrowed his eyes. "You little demon."

She just smiled in response. Shrugged. "I could help you though. If you told me who. Maybe I know them."

He shook his head, not that he was denying her help, but he didn't understand. "Why would you help me?" He couldn't even understand why she'd talk to him in the first place.

She shrugged again, face open and honest. "I think you're an okay guy. Is that bad?"

He felt knocked off balance again. Like she had swept a pillar of defense out and away from him and he couldn't grapple it back.

"No," he said softly.

She watched him for a moment, still leaning forward on her elbows, casual and in control of the situation. But then she turned out to the crowd with him and they people-watched together in companionable silence.

He liked it. Just sitting there with someone. He'd known Lance since they were just kids but it was Lance , who could make best friends with a literal rock, so it hadn't felt like a friendship earned. He hadn't made a friend since. Thought Lance was just a lucky fluke. But Pidge felt different, at least at the moment. They got each other and didn't even have to say anything to prove it. It was nice.

Matt came by, eyeing Keith suspiciously as he passed him up. "Hey, Katie. Sorry to leave you over here like that."

"I can't even drink," she frowned unhappily at him. "If Mom and Dad found out you had me do this, they'd freak."

"And if they found out you were the one who begged to let you stay..."

"You'd still be the one in trouble," she said.

He sighed. "Yeah. Definitely. Anyway, I'll take over. You can go mingle."

"Everyone's drunk now. Even Keith."

Keith turned, "I'm not drunk."

"Mmhmm. I'm going to use the restroom. I'll be right back."

Pidge walked off, leaving Keith awkwardly in Matt's bubble.

The comfortable silence quickly slid into icy territory and Keith felt it trickling up his back unpleasantly.

"So, uh, why are you always wearing sunglasses?" Matt said. "People don't normally wear them inside, you know. Is it a statement or something?"

"Uh, no... I get headaches a lot. They help."

"...Right."

He cleared his throat, fiddling with the cup in his hands for a few more moments before pushing himself off the table, tossing the cup into the trash, and walking into the crowd with a, "I'll go...uh...yeah."

He bumbled through the crowd. He was hoping Pidge would come back, but at the same time, he didn't want to hide behind other people. He needed to do...something.

God, he couldn't think clearly. Maybe Pidge had been right and he had drunk too much. He was having difficulties making it through the crowd, not that he ever liked pushing through crowds, but ugh. Dizzily, he stumbled into the hallway and tried to open the first door he came to. He needed the bathroom probably. He didn't know where it was.

The door was locked, so he squinted, looking down the hallway until he found a door that felt right. He slipped in and closed it, letting his head bang against the wood as peace settled around him.

It was a good idea, finding some peace. It was just what he wanted. He let himself slide to the ground, warm and head pleasantly buzzing with a touch of sickness. He didn't feel like coming was an explosive mistake yet.

Until he opened his eyes.

It was dark - the light was off - but a street lamp outside was shining some light in through the window. Sitting on the bed in the center of the room, book in hand, was Shiro.

He was just sitting there, tilting his head back like he was waiting for something. And then, quietly, he said, "...Keith...?" It was very much a question. "...You're Keith Kogane."

Keith nodded quietly. When that got no response, he cleared his throat. "Uh. Yeah."

Shiro's responding grin was brilliant even in the darkness. "So you come to parties. I didn't take you for the type honestly."

"No, I... Um. Pidge invited me." Now that he was already talking, he figured he might as well keep going. "About the other day, with the coffee, I'm so so sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I know it had to have burned you -"

"- Nah, it's fine. I've had worse. It doesn't bother me."

Keith rubbed at his elbow and chewed on the inside of his cheek. "...Um, is this your room? I didn't mean to barge in. I had been looking for the bathroom...or the way out, I dunno," he laughed nervously, disliking the way that his heart felt like it was racing to some finish line. Any second now, he knew it'd just stutter to a halt. "Uh...I should just go -"

"-It's alright," Shiro said quickly, leaning forward. "I've wanted to talk with you lately, anyway."

"But if you were about to sleep, I can just come back later -"

"-I wasn't."

"But..." Keith frowned at the book in his hand, at the lights on the ceiling that were out. "...Why is it dark in here then?"

Shiro laughed. "Right. I forgot. Here, let me turn it on for you." He slid off his bed, walked to the wall, and flicked the switch on. Light flooded the room and Keith cringed against it. Too bright and too sudden.

Shiro just smiled pleasantly, going back to his bed. "Better?"

"Um. Yeah. Do you live here? With Matt?"

"We share the apartment with a few others. It's a good setup besides the few times a year when Matt gets inspired to throw a party," Shiro laughed softly. "How about you? It's your first year here, right? Do you live on campus?"

"No, across the road."

There was something surreal about being in the small private space of Shiro's room with him, who sat quietly on his bed, the sound of music thumping in the distance. Rain patted the walls softly. Keith remembered the crowds that always surrounded Shiro, the bright smile always on his face, energy of the sun exuding off of him. He seemed like a different Shiro now, relaxed and soft, quiet and thoughtful. A child of the moon moreso. He knew his head was swimming and he probably wasn't at his best to talk, but when would he get another chance like this? It was as if it was handed to him on a silver plate.

"I'm sorry about our first two meetings," Shiro said. "It seemed like you wanted to say something, but you never quite got the chance. I'm all ears if you want to ask now."

Right. The colors. It seemed like the wrong thing for Keith to mention during their first official conversation together. If the past was any indication, Keith needed at the very least five more months of mentally preparing and slowly understanding Shiro's backstory to feel comfortable enough to mention anything remotely close to maybe possibly seeing colors.

But if not now, Keith would never get the opportunity to ask in private again, so he forced himself, the thing that had been plaguing him for week: "Um, right...have you, uh, happened to see anything strange recently?"

Shiro's brow furrowed. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Strange?"

"Yeah, like...any changes. Anything...unusual. Anything at all."

Shiro shrugged. "I haven't noticed anything. If you can be more specific maybe I can help you out."

Keith cringed inside. "I dunno. Like...like seeing something different . Something not...normal."

"Seeing," Shiro echoed, voice dipping low in something that sounded close to disappointment.

"Um, yes? Visually. Seeing."

"Uh..." For once, Shiro's smile was faded. There was a hesitant furling of his brows that Keith watched with a sinking feeling. "Is this supposed to be a joke?"

"A joke? No. I just..." He sighed in defeat, eyes darting for the door just in case he had to make an emergency exit. "I'm sorry. I'm not being clear. I don't know how to explain it. I was just...wondering. Nevermind."

"Oh..." There was still hesitance in his voice. "I haven't, but uh, that's not out of the ordinary for me because... I'm blind."

Keith blinked blankly. "You... You what? What'd you say?"

"I'm blind. I can't see." He waved a hand in front of his face and shrugged. "Nothing."

"You can't see...?"

The smile was returning, warming back up. He laughed a little. "No. ...I thought it was pretty obvious with the cane and all. I guess I'm glad you couldn't tell. Means I'm finally getting the hang of it."

Keith was staring. A wave of horror washed over him as he went over every word he had just said about seeing . How could he have not gotten it before? Shiro had a cane, for god's sake. It wasn't like Shiro had a limp. He was sitting in complete darkness, running his fingers over the pages. Keith felt like such an idiot.

"I'm so sorry," Keith whispered to Shiro, mortified. It felt like all he did was mess up.

"Nah," Shiro waved the thought away. "It's not your fault, don't worry about it."

"I didn't mean - It wasn't a joke. I really didn't know. I'm sorry." Keith could see the scar across his nose, stark now that it had his attention. "How?"

Shiro cleared his throat, face twisting in discomfort as he rose his fingers to his eyes. "Ah, it was just...an accident. I don't like talking about it."

"Right. No. Of course not. I'm sorry. No filter. Sorry."

"No worries."

He was slowly piecing things together. "...I guess that's why Matt is always so defensive over you..."

"I guess he's pretty bad," Shiro laughed. "There's no need - I can get around by myself just fine - but he means well. He's a good friend."

"Yeah..."

Shiro rose his eyebrows. "Anyway, I didn't mean to ignore your question. You said you saw something?"

"U-um, did I?"

A soft laugh. It was warm and rich and made Keith's heart skip a beat. "Something strange."

"...It was probably nothing."

Shiro nodded, as if that explained everything...or anything at all. "Well, if you remember, let me know. In the meantime, sit."

"I'd hate to intrude," Keith said. He'd already made a fool of himself enough as it was, he couldn't see it getting any better.

Shiro set the book down on his nightstand. "You're good. I was just reading, but I was getting kind of antsy anyway. All the music is getting to me."

Keith cautiously approached the bed and sat on the very edge. He peered over at the book curiously, wondering what a real-life Braille looked like. "Didn't want to join the party?"

"I was thinking about it. I just woke up this morning not totally in the mood for it though. It gets difficult for me to navigate around all the people and I just don't have the patience for it right now."

"I really can leave."

"Nah, sometimes I'm just not in the mood for crowds."

Keith smiled wryly and let out a long deep exhale. "I definitely get that."

"Oh, yeah?" Shiro laughed. "So, tell me. How are you liking college, Keith? Is it everything you hoped for and more?"

Keith let out a small laugh. "I...guess? It's alright."

"What are you majoring in?"

"Astrophysics. I know it sounds weird, but I like it. You?"

"Oh, god, astrophysics. In comparison, my major is going to sound really lame. That's impressive, Keith. It's hard work."

Keith laughed shyly, shaking his head. "I'm just trying it out. It's always interested me, but we'll see."

Shiro laughed. "That's cool. I know another astrophysics major and she loves it. Amazingly smart and the things she learns... I like going to the astronomy auditorium with her sometimes and she'll map out all the constellations for me, but I'm just a music major."

Keith turned to the upright piano in the corner. "Piano?"

"Uh-huh. Piano's my main instrument. I do some guitar, bass, violin, and cello too."

"Wow," Keith breathed, a little winded. "Talented."

"Well, I don't play them all well necessarily, but they're beautiful instruments and I enjoy it. What else can you ask for?"

"Do you perform?"

"I do. There's a concert a few days before Christmas. It's free. You should come if you'd like. There's hot chocolate out front by the fire pit after the performance every year. They turn on the lights to the Christmas tree. It's supposed to be really beautiful. It's a lot of fun."

"Sounds cool," Keith nodded.

"Not as fun as all the Halloween parties though, I'm sure."

Keith laughed. "Nah. I'm not much of a party kind of guy. This is mostly just an accident."

"Yeah? How would you rate the adventure so far?"

"It's good. Better than I thought already. I honestly had been picturing all the worst case scenarios. An awkward time in the corner, alone. Trying to escape before I even made it in through the door. Tripping and getting punch all over myself and someone else. We already know I'm fully capable of that."

Shiro laughed. "Everyone would survive," he assured Keith.

"But no, it's good. I found someone cool to talk to." Maybe it was the alcohol in the punch, maybe it wasn't. He felt brave talking to Shiro in ways he never felt talking to anyone else.

Shiro's responding smile was so warm and soft, it tugged at heartstrings inside Keith's chest he never realized he had.

Keith grinned despite himself, "Oh, I meant Pidge. Pidge is the cool one."

Shiro blinked.

"I'm kidding," Keith laughed. "I'm kidding."

"A jokester," Shiro laughed too. "Okay, Keith Kogane. I guess if you don't appreciate my company to the fullest, I'll have to send you back out to the dogs."

"The dogs? Is that what you call all of your guests?" It was definitely the punch; he couldn't even be mad.

Shiro laughed louder, the sound surprised. "No, not all. Not the pretty ones."

Keith blinked. Was he drunk or was that flirting? Or both.

Shiro was still laughing as he leaned back, tossing his forelock out of his eyes. "Keith Kogane," he said again, Keith's name warm and soft in his mouth. "I'm glad we get to finally meet."

"Finally?" Keith said, looking over at him.

"Yeah. You're kind of notorious around here. You have a name for yourself."

Keith frowned. He could feel the tension circling his gut suddenly. His voice dropped low. "Oh, yeah?"

"It's probably the motorcycle. We don't see many around here. People get curious and then when they realize it's something cool that they can't have, that develops into jealousy. They'll get over it."

Keith snorted without heat. "Right, it's the motorcycle they hate."

Noticing the dip in mood, Shiro said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything bad. They talked about me for months when I first came, but then I got to know everyone and the talk died down. Everyone's just bored; no one actually believes all the stuff they hear. I've wanted to talk with you for weeks now to see who you are, without the rumor. Just plain Keith."

"Just plain Keith," Keith sighed.

"Yeah. Who is Keith?"

Keith shrugged and then caught himself. "Plain Keith is just Plain Keith. I don't know." He was picking at his nails. A nervous habit. "Who is Shiro?"

"Hmm... A lover of music."

The easy way he answered made the question sound so simple.

"Sometimes, on good days, it's like I can see the sky again in the music. It's magical."

Keith looked up, noticing the angles in Shiro's face, the way the light hit him. He was even more gorgeous up close, in his room, softened and comfortable. Keith had to turn away.

His eyes rested on the piano, a deep rich brown. It was hard to wrap his head around the fact that the man sitting beside him was the reason for the color, which some might've called a gift.

He didn't know what to think of it. He didn't know what to think of anything.

Even trying to simplify the answer, Keith couldn't think of who he was. He shrugged again, sighing. "Maybe I'll find an answer to that question someday. But not right now."

"That's fine." Again, it sounded so easy.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Shiro said.

Matt walked in, holding a drink in his hand. "Hey, you haven't -" He stopped, frown on his face at Keith. "...What is he doing here?" He set the drink down on the nightstand table, pointing it out to Shiro.

"We were chatting," Shiro grinned brightly.

Matt's frown deepened. "Katie's been looking for you," Matt said to Keith in a disparaging tone that painted his obvious dislike.

Keith sniffed, rolling onto his feet. "I should go."

"Oh. You don't have to leave," Shiro said, actually looking sad.

"I've got an essay due Monday I should've started last week anyway. It was nice talking with you though."

"Yeah," Shiro said softly. "It really was. Come say hi sometime."

"I will," Keith said, not knowing if he was lying or not. "Thanks for letting me hide out in your room for a bit. Later."

Shiro waved, that warm smile on his face.

Keith turned before the butterflies in his heart became too much. That smile was too much and it had been directed right at him. He didn't know how he survived that conversation, but he felt warm and tingly inside and out, his fingers buzzing with electricity, and he wasn't sure if it was the punch or Shiro.

The first thing he did when he got back home was call Lance.

"Let me guess," Lance said around a mouthful of food when he picked up. "You need more love advice."

"I'm doing homework."

Keith could hear the rustling of a bag in the background and the loud crunch of food between teeth. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Shoot."

"Say Person A sees their soulmate, their world gets colors, all the usual stuff. What happens if Person B is blind?"

"Blind? Who's blind at your college?"

"N-no one!" Keith spluttered. "It's for homework! I just told you, can't you listen?!"

"Right, right. Well. Why do you keep calling to ask me these questions? I don't have a degree in 'soulmates'."

"You basically do. You've dated the most out of anyone I know."

"I'm the only person you know. And if anything, me dating a ton of people means I know the least about soulmates, doesn't it? Never have had one myself."

"Just... What do you think about it?"

"Think about what? If you're blind, you don't see, right? So they won't be seeing color anytime soon. Or ever. So you'll never know, only live the rest of your long miserable life in question. Who is she?"

"Homework assignment," Keith muttered tiredly.

"You seem more irritable today. I thought you were going to a party. To liven up. You know."

He pressed his fingers into his eyes until he saw spots. Colors bled into them and he grunted in disapproval, pulling back. "I've been getting headaches."

"Headaches? Since when does the impervious Keith get headaches? Maybe you need to get laid."

Keith slammed the phone onto its receiver.

He sighed, tilting his head to peer down at the campus below, lit dimly from the small amount of light the street lamps provided. It was a warm color, not totally harmful to Keith's headache, not like the lights inside his apartment that flickered with bright LED lighting.

It was a lot to get used to. He missed the blunt simplicity of his vision in monotone. He had waited so long for this - he should be happy, but he was more wired than before.

Antsily, he patted his pockets for another cigarette. It was a bad habit that he couldn't afford in this shitty apartment. As disgusting and small as it was, it had rules, and that included no smoking.

He cracked a window and leaned into the cool night air, breathing the thick smoke into his lungs.

Shiro.

Keith didn't know if it'd be too selfish to try to wedge himself a place in Shiro's life. Shiro was happy as he was now. Why drag him down by stepping into his life?

Keith sighed out grey, rubbing his cheeks roughly with the edge of his knuckles.

It was what he had always wanted - a chance at this - but somehow, it felt so wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, he woke up clear-minded. He decided, while stuffing his personal feelings into a little bottle deep within his heart, that he wouldn't pursue Shiro further. Who was he to risk ruining someone else's life? Keith's heart had been touched by Shiro's genuine kindness and he was too fond already to let him get hurt.

No more back and forth. He was done.

When he texted Lance, he didn't mention his "homework" or colors again.

When he walked through campus, he avoided.

When he saw Shiro, he turned the other way immediately and ran.

It wasn't like he and Shiro had become buddies or anything, but he felt loss in his heart like a slap across his face. It was strong, too strong for their one official conversation.

Pidge had even started ignoring him for some reason and that hurt too.

"You're being ridiculous," he quietly chastised himself several times a day. He found himself staring down hallways he knew led to Shiro's route to his next class. His body wanted to go that way, but his mind stubbornly refused.

Shiro needed to be protected from Keith.

But again, he started sinking into that dark place inside of his head deeper and deeper. Lance's worry grew, leading to a more annoyed Keith, which led to a more worried Lance, which led to a...

Ugh...

It was hard finding a comfortable balance.

Though he had more time to study and he felt like his face was constantly shoved in a book, he wasn't absorbing anything and his grades weren't improving any. At this rate, losing his scholarship was becoming a very real prospect. He somehow couldn't find the motivation to try to stop it.

Keith and Pidges' next lab required the both of them to work together again. She was quiet for most of it, brushing past Keith to grab tools that he could've easily gotten for her.

He let it happen. Though he didn't mind a fight, he hated verbal confrontation and shied away from it at any cost.

But her anger would crack every once in awhile and she'd just look plain sad. Somehow, Keith couldn't stand to see that look on her face.

"Did I do something?" he asked finally. "Why are you upset?"

The anger came flaring back, a wall of fire between them. "You didn't do anything ."

He sniffed hard, an excuse to give himself one more second to gather any patience he had. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She elbowed him in the gut to get him out of the way. It hurt more than he'd expected. "What do you think it means?"

"I seriously don't know. I have no idea what's happening. Was I that drunk at the party? I don't think I actually was."

She shrugged. "Was it the party?"

"Was it because I left when you went to the bathroom? I'm sorry, your brother was freaking me out."

"It wasn't that," she shook her head, looking more angry now that he would assume it was something so minor.

" What did I do? Just tell me. God. Why do I have to play this guessing game like we're kids or something?"

She hissed, hunching over her work. "You're going to make me make a mistake. Just leave it alone."

"Leave what alone ?"

She shook her head sharply, going back to outright ignoring him.

He tossed his hands in the air, giving up.

He really didn't get her. She was so sharp in everything she did. He couldn't possibly keep up without getting cut.

Not that he was ever in a good mood anymore, but he was feeling particularly foul as he made his way through the campus to get home. Fuck his homework, fuck everything, he was just done tonight. The one friend he'd made hated him for a reason he wasn't aware of. Anytime he tried, it seemed like it was just shoved right back up his nose and he was so sick of it. Despite his best intentions, he was just going to grow up alone and miserable and that was that.

Stomping through the quad, nudging too-slow people out of the way, he heard a bend in the air.

He slowed, looking around himself. What was that?

Music. So soft and gentle, like the fluttering of a butterfly's wings.

He turned, following the sound off the pathway and through the grass. It was beautiful. Whoever was playing had a gift. It hardly sounded like an instrument being played anymore, but something from the sky. Something fluid and colorful even without sight. Something pure.

He followed it all the way to the theater, where people were seated in the dark. One figure was highlighted by the spotlight, seated in front of the piano, fingers caressing over the keys.

Maybe he was weakened from his tiff with Pidge. Maybe it was just everything, but he felt his chest being pried apart slowly by the sound of it. He was vulnerable to softness. The song was kind. Nurturing. Keith leaned against the door to the theater and watched, pressing his lips together tightly.

He didn't have to see to know that it was Shiro up there. He could hear it in the music. It was Shiro's soul, spread through the air in waves. Keith spread his hand out wide and let himself feel it. Like gold taffy running through the air, catching the rays of sunlight on its strings.

God. He let his eyes settle on Shiro, whose eyes were closed as he played, completely and wholly absorbed into his music. He was beautiful.

Keith didn't know shit about music, but it didn't matter. He could see Shiro's soul, a cut crystal putting forth rainbows. And it didn't matter that Keith had just spent the past few weeks cursing the new colors for giving him headaches. These rainbows were beautiful, a river of creamy rich paint that highlighted each difference with love and acceptance.

Keith had never been touched by music like this before. He let his head fall against the door as he closed his eyes. Magical. He could live in its light forever.

And then it was over, and there was the sound of clapping - an awful sound in comparison to what they'd just been listening to. Already, his ears ached for that soft flow of waves through the air again.

Keith opened his eyes and saw as Shiro stood, slowly collecting himself. His face had been calm and gentle as he played, but his usual smile cracked over his face again as he stood to his full height and bowed his thanks.

Keith had to clap too - and normally he was a believer in stubbornly refusing to clap - watching in awe. Talented indeed.

"I think I get it," a voice said from behind him.

He jumped on the inside, but managed to force it down for a minimum physical reaction. He turned, looking down at Pidge who was watching him through analytical eyes.

"...Get what?" He asked cautiously, letting his eyes go back to where he'd last seen Shiro. But he was gone, having walked behind the thick red curtains. Keith couldn't catch the sigh that left his lungs.

"...It's him."

"What?" He frowned down at her. "What's him?"

She rose an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Remember me saying the other night at the party that I was going to figure out who you were waiting for? Otherwise known as totally crushing over? Well, I figured it out."

Keith's frown melted off his face, replaced by horror.

"Don't worry," she said, grinning like a cat. "I won't say anything." And then, seriously, "You should talk to him. You hurt him."

"Huh?"

"Are you seriously this clueless? You talk to him at the party, he tells you he's blind, and you avoid him the next few weeks. Not just I-was-busy sort of avoid, but climb-out-of-windows sort of avoid. What'd you think everyone would think?

"...I'm sorry I was mad at you. I thought you were a total ass. Everyone does actually. Who knew you were avoiding him over something this juvenile?"

Keith watched her mutely, gut sinking as he realized he'd been an idiot, again .

She said, "I'll admit that I don't get it though, not completely. Why are you avoiding him?"

Keith sighed, shoulders sagging. Another musician was playing on the stage, screeching away on their violin and Keith wanted to leave. "I'm not a good person to be friends with. The same warning goes to you."

"You're not avoiding me , though."

He sighed.

"Ah. But then I guess you don't have a massive puppy-dog eyed crush on me like you do Shiro."

"Did I hear my name?" A breathless Shiro asked from behind them.

Keith went ramrod straight, shoving down the urge to dart with all his might.

It was Shiro, eyes bright from his performance, sweat glistening on his forehead. He was smiling happily at the two of them, cane in hand. For once, he was alone.

"Hi, Keith," he said.

"We were just talking about how Keith totally wants to bone you."

Keith choked violently, stabbed by betrayal, but Shiro just laughed warmly. "Katie, if your brother heard you talk like that..."

"He'd what? He's powerless against me and all my might."

"Yeah, yeah," Shiro said with mock-weariness. He was still smiling as brightly as a star. "Ignore her, Keith. She likes to cause trouble."

"I am the trouble."

"She's really as soft as a kitten."

"Say that again! I'll tear you apart!" But she was grinning with familial warmth.

"Hey, Keith," Shiro said, voice still light. "Mind walking with me for a bit?"

"I..." Keith looked over at Pidge, who was smiling knowingly. "Sure."

"See you two kids later," Pidge said, "You were awesome out there, by the way, Shiro. As always."

"Thanks, Katie," he grinned happily.

She turned, giving them a lazy wave and going back into the darkness of the theater.

Keith took a deep breath and turned back to Shiro, nervously trying not to let his eyes dart everywhere like they felt like doing. Flight or fight. If it got any worse, he'd start twitching.

"Where would you like to go?" Keith asked softly.

"Mind walking me to my apartment?"

"Not at all."

They started on their way. It wasn't like Shiro needed help. He was confidently walking down the pathway like he could see what was in front of him.

"I heard you play," Keith said. "That was... I'd never heard anything like it. I could really feel your heart in it."

Shiro's responding smile was brilliant. It was like witnessing a thousand suns. "Thank you. I'm glad you were there. Some performances are better than others; you didn't see me mess up a few times and then leave the stage crying."

"Have you done that?" Keith laughed. He couldn't imagine Shiro ever crying.

"When I was little, yeah. Defeat was crushing. I'd run and hide for hours sometimes. ...I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's actually kind of embarrassing."

"Oh, I still do that even now," Keith said, pressing down a smile. "There's a nice place above the auditorium, on the roof. Maybe next time, you can play a sad song for me when I'm hiding there. With a tiny violin."

Shiro laughed. "Sure, let me know when you need me and I'll come right over."

They chucked together, the air between them soft and light. Silence fell for a few moments and Keith blurted out, "I wasn't avoiding you."

Shiro tilted his head up and pressed his lips together - subtle signs that he was listening.

"I mean...I...I was, but not because you're blind. Pidge told me that everyone assumed that and I'm horrified that's why you think I was avoiding you. It's not that. It's not anything close to that."

Shiro nodded slowly, digesting Keith's words. "Then why? Was it something I said?"

"No, not at all. It wasn't you. It's just..." Keith heaved a sigh. "You said yourself. You've heard the rumors. I'm bad news. Do you know how people will look at you if you hang out with me? It's not worth it."

Shiro pressed down an amused grin. "You were avoiding me because of that?"

"Seriously. I'm like...bad luck or something. You're too nice to curse like that."

"Too nice?" Shiro tried, but he couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled up and out of him.

Keith frowned. "I'm serious."

"Keith Kogane," Shiro said his name again, softly, that same fondness in it as last time. "I've never known anyone who put so much thought into something. I appreciate it. Really. But, you know, I'm getting older now. I think I can be trusted to make my own decisions, don't you?"

"I didn't mean -"

"Relax, Keith. It's too late to worry about what'll happen when we become friends. We already are."

"We hardly know each other."

"It feels like we do though, doesn't it? It feels easy."

"It does..." Keith said softly, looking out into the distance. There were soft clouds in the sky, fluffy, not stormy. "Say, how do you always know when I'm nearby? I swear you can see."

Shiro chuckled. "It's a stupid reason. You're going to hate it."

"What is it?" Keith asked suspiciously.

"It's not like I have a special radar or something - I wish. You smoke cigarettes, right? Few do here. I can smell you from a mile away."

Keith choked on a laugh. "Okay, you warned me and everything, but somehow I'm still a little disappointed in your explanation."

Shiro laughed deeply. "I wish I had something better to tell you". He thought about it for a moment. "Here's something: I can hear it in your walk too. You have a slight limp in your right leg. An old injury?"

"Yeah..." Keith said slowly, attention seeping down to his leg. "I sort of...had a run in with some kids when I was younger. I thought that had healed though..."

"It's not bad," Shiro amended. "Very slight, but I like to try to pick these things out. Makes it easier to know my scenery."

"So you remember what it's like to see?"

"Yep. I miss it if I think about it for too long. What I wish I could see most is the color of the sky. The purple during the night, speckled with pieces of the galaxy." He heaved a large sigh. "If I had my sight, I'd probably be in all of your classes with you, looking up toward the stars."

Keith stared, stunned. Purple. Shiro knew that the sky had purple at night.

Colors. He had seen colors.

When he was a child.

Before he had met Keith.

Keith reeled for a moment, feeling like his world was being pulled out from under his feet. So it was true; Keith had been right. You could have a soulmate who had someone else.

Despair rose up thick and suffocating throughout Keith's body, choking off his air supply. It was stupid since he had decided he wouldn't take this far with Shiro, but it felt like his future had just been ripped out of his hands. Shiro was cut from the strings of fate in Keith's hands.

Shiro sniffed in the silence. "Um...do you know Allura? She's also an astrophysics major. She's really cool. I think you'd both get along. ...Either that, or totally destroy each other." He laughed.

"Allura...?" Keith said distantly. There was a fondness in Shiro's voice as he spoke of her and it only made Keith feel more sick. Allura , like she was some princess gracing mortals with her presence. "No. No, I don't think so." He took in a deep breath again, turning his gaze away, toward the ground. Awkwardly, he rubbed his arm. "Uh... People are watching, you know. We really should just -"

"- I want to hang out with you," Shiro said firmly.

"But -"

"- Do you not want to hang out with me?"

"It's not that. I just... I think that..." he paused, trying to find the right words for the feelings welling inside of him. "Why?" He finally forced out, miserable. "Why me?"

Shiro laughed softly, but there was no hint of malice in it. He repositioned his hand on his cane and tilted his neck back, thoughts growing in his eyes. "You remind me of someone," he said.

"...I do? Who?"

"Someone special to me," he said, that same short quality to his tone, like he was pushing himself to share something that went beyond what he was comfortable with. But his face was soft and his voice was warm with fondness.

"Oh... I'm not them." Keith said morosely.

"I know," he said quickly, eyes blinking a little wider. "I know. I want to get to know you and that's separate. But it just feels right, you know? Being friends. I can't explain it."

Keith hummed.

"Why were you looking for me the first time we met?" Shiro tilted his head. "As I recall, it was you who approached me first."

"Oh." Keith breathed, flaring red. "I... I was looking for something. And you... I don't know, you just seemed very approachable."

"Hm." Shiro took a moment to digest the thought. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Ah, no. Not really."

Shiro hummed again, soft and quiet. He stopped on the sidewalk beneath the light, tilting his head in the direction of the door. "This is me. Thanks for walking me. And for watching my performance. I thought you were mad at me; I'm glad to know you're not."

"Mad? At you? Is that possible?"

Shiro laughed toward the ground. "Oh, it's possible. Believe me. Hey, tomorrow, during lunch break, you should stop by our table. I know Matt pretends that he's scary, but he's the softer of the Holts, and you already seem to be in Katie's good graces. You'll warm him up in no time. I have every confidence in you."

Keith snorted without heat. "Oh, yeah?"

"I'd like to get to know you better."

"...Me too," Keith admitted softly, shuffling his feet. "Maybe I'll...stop by. If I have time." He knew he would, but courage was another thing.

Shiro smiled warmly. "Have a good night, Keith."

"You too," Keith smiled back. Maybe Shiro couldn't see it, but he heard himself as his voice softened and he sounded very much unlike himself.

He decided it didn't bother him for once, and he let himself watch as Shiro opened the door, waved one last time, and disappeared from sight.

Maybe it did feel right. He couldn't explain it. Neither could Shiro. Maybe that was why Keith couldn't let him go.

The next day, during lunch, he grabbed his tray and turned toward Shiro's table. It was long and there were a lot of seats; most were filled. It was a large group and Shiro was swallowed whole in it, a part of them, integrated perfectly.

Keith, a wedge, already felt waves of embarrassment wash over him as he predicted what would happen if he walked over there.

Eyes on him. Eyes in color now, like everything was in HD when he could barely handle the detail of VHS.

It wasn't Shiro this time deterring him, and he felt good about that at least, but he stepped away, into his own little corner of the cafeteria, by himself.

His next period's teacher had an emergency to attend to, so he had a lot of time to kill. He unzipped his backpack and took out some homework. It was spread across his desk, a huge mess. Last, but not least, he grabbed his headphones and blared some music to block out the sound of the crowd.

It was best to study away from his apartment. There was something about its tiny size that made him feel like his brain was small too. He couldn't cram anything in there.

He was halfway through his first paper when a large shadow loomed over him. He jumped, yanking the headphones off his head instantly.

"Whoa. Hey," he breathed, looking up into Shiro's face, who had his head tilted curiously. "Sorry. Did you say something? I had my headphones in."

"Oooh," Shiro said in understanding. "I was calling you. I thought I had found the only other person on the campus who smokes and they were about ready to clock me out."

"Pfft," Keith laughed, shoving his headphones off his neck and onto the table. "Want to sit?"

"Sure," he said.

Keith pushed the chair out beside him; it scraped along the floor obnoxiously before Shiro caught it with one hand. He folded his cane up and shoved it into his back pocket, sitting down and leaning forward to zero in on Keith.

"You didn't come sit with us," Shiro said.

"Yeah... I'm, uh, not the best with crowds. Or people. Especially people in crowds," he laughed nervously.

"I'd be there. Katie would be there."

"I know. I just, uh, thought it'd be better to work on some of my homework." Keith turned his head to look at the table Shiro had been sitting at. They were all still there, tossing curious looks over at them both. Keith hunched his shoulders and angled himself away so he could see outside.

His phone went off.

Quickly, he fished it out of his pocket and denied the call.

He opened his mouth to try to talk over the thought of Lance, when his phone went off again .

"Dammit," he muttered. "I'm sorry. It's - my friend - Just a sec."

He answered it roughly. "Hello?"

"Hey, buddy, I was just -"

"- Now's a bad time. I'll call you later."

"Wait! Mom and Dad want to send you a care package so they need your address."

Keith blinked in confusion. "A care package?"

"Yeah, like, cookies and toothpaste and shit. You know. Care package."

Keith shifted his phone to the other ear, frowning. He tried to imagine coming home to receive something like a care package in the mail and couldn't. "Why?"

"They're worried about you . You know how fond they are of you."

"You mean how much they pity me..." Keith grumbled. "I can't let them send me anything, they have enough to pay for already."

"Okay, you have a certain pitiable charm, that's true, but they care about you as a real live human being too and they want to do it. So, address. Come on, cough it up. I've got a date in ten minutes."

Keith scoffed and rolled his eyes, tilting his chair back dangerously far. "A new girl?"

" No . How about you? How's your new girl?"

"God, shut up. I've got to go. I'll text you the address."

"I'm out of here. Text Mom. Bye."

"Yeah." He hung up and clicked out, scrolling through his contacts to find Lance's mother before deciding it'd be too awkward to send her his address, like he was begging for supplies or something, and ended up just sending it to Lance anyway. "Sorry about that," he muttered as he hit send.

"Your brother?"

"Brother?" His eyebrows shot high into his bangs.

"No? I could hear him from here. He's pretty loud."

"Oh, no. That's just...he's a friend. He just sort of found me, you know?"

Shiro tilted his head like he didn't know.

Keith pressed his lips together and continued, "I was an orphan and he used to hang out by the fences trying to entice other kids over. He's like that... I was curious too, I guess, and didn't really have anyone else, so his mom and dad sort of took me in. If they didn't already have fifty kids and no space, they probably would've adopted me, but..." He bit his lip, not liking where he had taken the conversation. He cringed away from it. "Anyway, they're about the closest thing to a family I have. It's nice... Lance is a pain in the ass though."

"Like any brother should be," Shiro smiled, laughing softly with Keith. "I have a little brother so I feel your pain."

"Oh, yeah? I always wanted a brother...until I got Lance."

Shiro laughed again, crossing his arms to his chest. "I'm sorry to hear about being in an orphanage. That's a tough deal."

Keith hummed, going quiet.

"You don't have to answer, but...what happened to your parents?"

Keith shrugged, caught himself being completely unhelpful again, and then sighed out, "I don't know. My mom left before I could recall her face. My dad...he never talked about it, and then on Christmas Eve, he just disappeared. I despise this time of year; it reminds me of them... I spent a week at our house alone, waiting for him. I had to go into town when I started to starve. No one's found him. Not even a body."

"Wow, Keith, I'm so -"

"-Don't apologize," Keith cut through firmly. "He never did, so...why should you?"

The air was heavy, pressing down on them, suffocating them both.

Keith cleared his throat, forcing a small laugh out of himself. "Wow, that sounded super bitter... ...Seriously, don't worry about it. It was a long time ago."

"My accident," Shiro said suddenly. His hands were clenched into tight fists as he frowned hard at the table. But when Keith turned to look at him, he put on his smile. "You asked about it earlier and I avoided the question. I don't like talking about it, but since you told me something, I'll tell you.

"A little after I first moved here, my grandpa had run of out some ingredient for dinner. I don't remember what it was he needed, something unimportant, but he sent me out to the market nearby to get some more.

"It was dark. The sun had set and the stars were out. I was walking past the park and I could hear kids still playing there. I thought it was weird; maybe they were lost or needed help, so I went over to see what they were doing.

"It was a boy. There was blood everywhere and he was staying off one leg, trembling. There were five others, surrounding him. They weren't playing."

Shiro's voice darkened, his brow furrowing. For the first time since Keith had met him, the light had dimmed from his eyes, and anger was there, real and thunderous even as he tried to suppress it.

"It was horrible. And cowardly. I ran over to try to help, but it startled the boy. He darted away, trailing blood. I just knew I had to help him.

"But I was an idiot and I chased him into a busy road. He almost got hit because of me, but, at the last second, the vehicle veered. He had stumbled. I saw him slip off the road, tumbling down a hill where a canal was waiting at the bottom. My grandpa had always warned me about that canal. It was dangerous. I jumped out to try to help him and...that was the last thing I ever saw. The car that had swerved hit me. There were just these bright lights and... I don't remember anything after that."

Shiro bit his lip. "I'm glad it hit me instead of him. But my greatest regret is that I never got to see what happened to the boy. If he was alright or not. That bothers me the most. It was my fault he ran off like that."

"Jesus, that's awful," Keith whispered. Softly, he said, "isn't that so like you? You lose your sight, but you're still worried about the other guy."

"He could've drowned," Shiro said, leaning back and rubbing his cheek in distress. "I told my grandfather when I woke up, but it was days later. It was too late. No one found anything. It was all my fault. If I had just let him be, he wouldn't have ran from me like that. I wish I had done something differently."

Keith watched Shiro's face, twisted in guilt and conflict. He felt his heart melting even more for the man. Shiro's heart was the biggest he'd ever known. He ached.

You're too good , Keith thought, but he knew saying that wouldn't bring Shiro peace.

"It wasn't your fault, Shiro," Keith said quietly. "Those assholes bullying him started it. You were only trying to help."

Shiro took in a shaky breath, pressing his palm to his forehead. He stayed like that for a moment, breathing in harshly before he settled back into his usual stance, his soft smile slowly warming back up on his face. It was tinged with sadness this time though, as he sighed out, "It was a long time ago."

"Still valid."

"Thanks, Keith," he said, sounding like he meant it. "Sometimes it's frustrating not being able to see. I want to help people who are hurting. But you can't exactly stitch wounds when your world's dark."

"Not all wounds are physical."

Shiro tilted his head up slightly, like maybe he got that a little too well. "Yeah... I guess you're right."

Keith had never shared those sort of things with anyone. Ever. Even Lance didn't know much about his parents, just that they were gone. He barely knew Shiro and he was already spilling out his heart.

It should've felt dangerous, but it didn't.

He had also been trusted with Shiro's turmoil and broken heart and Keith could feel the shards of it in his hand. He held them tenderly. Somehow, though Keith thought that his trust had shriveled up long ago, he found that he knew Shiro would treat his secrets the same.

Shiro was gentle. Shiro was kind.

Keith had never felt this way toward anyone before.

He was almost tempted to text Lance and ask him about these...god, he didn't want to admit it... emotions . But that seemed like a bad idea.

Instead, he rolled onto his bed with a content sigh and stared up at the ceiling, staring at the purples that were sprawled across the shadows, intertwining with the yellow of those lamps outside. Color. Color because of Shiro, his soulmate. Thinking the words made him feel whole.

He imagined Shiro on his bed, fingers tracing over the book in his hand, or maybe sitting on his piano bench, guitar in hand, strumming softly so he wouldn't wake up the entire dorm. He probably had a good voice. When he simply spoke, his voice was distracting. Keith found himself yearning to hear it.

Or maybe Shiro was tired and warm with sleepiness, rolling onto his side and gathering the blankets over himself, eyes closing softly.

Maybe Shiro was awake, like Keith was, mind roaming, thinking about him .

Keith closed his eyes and allowed himself to dream. For the first time in a long time, he was smiling as he fell into slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" Keith grumbled, eyes darting around nervously like there were cougars all around him, not people. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and hunched lower into his hoodie, biting his lip thoroughly enough he could taste the salt in his blood.

They had been hanging out for the past few weeks in school, their relationship easy and their trust in each other fast, but it was still hard for Keith to get used to the looks he'd get. Other people didn't trust him, especially not with their Shiro. Even people Shiro didn't know would glare at Keith like he was some sickness and not a boy, not a friend.

"Of course it's fine that you're here," Shiro said easily. "They're delighted."

They weren't. More than once, Keith found a few of Shiro's friends turning to send him confused and aggravated looks. Why is he here? their faces clearly said.

But Keith wasn't here for them, he was here for Shiro, who had smiled so brightly when Keith had agreed to come that Keith was blinded momentarily from the light. And so, there they were, walking up a hill of gravel covered in pine needles, Keith standing closely next to Shiro in case he needed him.

"I haven't gone out Christmas tree hunting in years," Shiro hummed happily, eyes bright as he walked along. It was cold and his nose was especially red like a cherry. Keith smiled at that, appreciating color anew. One more reason to happily endure the headaches. "I never wanted to hold any of them back out on these trails, but they're always nagging me and I thought it'd be a fun thing to do together. Have you ever cut down a Christmas tree, Keith?"

"Me? No. Never had a Christmas tree."

"At all?" Shiro squawked.

"Well, Lance's family did. I helped decorate it a few times. It was fun."

"I want to meet this Lance sometime," Shiro said, stumbling a bit on a rock.

"Careful," Keith murmured, hand already out.

Shiro grinned. "I'm good."

"What's up, kids?" Came a familiar voice. It was Pidge, falling in sync with them next to Keith.

"You made it," Shiro said in pleased surprise. "Matt said you were studying for your final."

"I was, but then I realized that we have two weeks left so I might be jumping the gun."

Keith snorted. "You? Study? What for?"

"I want to make sure, Kogane! I can't just rely on someone else to help me for a good score like some people, " she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Wow," Shiro said.

"It's not true," Keith defended.

"Katie, how is Keith in class? I never get to see that side of him."

"You know, he's not bad for a freshman ."

Shiro grinned. "Wow, really, Keith? That's high praise coming from Katie. You didn't tell me you were smart too."

"And handsome, and charming, and so so beautiful. Look at that face, it's so gorgeous," Pidge said, standing on her tiptoes to pinch Keith's cheeks.

" Pidge ," Keith groaned, reaching out to ruffle her hair, but she darted out of his reach, initiating a chase.

He caught her, effectively messing up her hair, and she growled at him like an angry cat, snatching onto his shoulder to vault up and ruin his hair.

"Ow, ow, ow! I didn't pull your hair out! Are you trying to make me go bald?"

"A few strands won't hurt you unless you're predisposed to that sort of thing, and at that point, I can't help you. No one can."

"Pidge, mercy! Mercy! I won't do it again!"

"That's right," she said, leaping off and tugging her shirt back into place again in victory.

Keith walked back to Shiro, head hung low in defeat.

"Lost to a little girl?" Shiro asked innocently, but he was wearing a shit-eating grin.

"You know she's not just any little girl. I will have my revenge on both of you one day."

"Me?" Shiro squeaked. "I did nothing!"

"I see that smile on your face."

Shiro laughed, tripping again.

Keith hissed, catching him by the arm before he could fall. Shiro was a tank. If he went down, he would crash. Hard.

Keith said, worrying his lip, "I knew this gravel was going to be a problem. You're going to get hurt."

"Don't worry so much," Pidge said, jamming her hands into her sweatshirt pouch. "He's fine."

"What if you fall? You could twist your ankle. You could sprain your wrist."

"Oh, my god," Pidge said.

"I'm fine, really," Shiro said, gently placing his hand over Keith's. "Thank you for worrying, but they're just rocks. If I fall, I'll live."

Keith's mouth pulled downward, but he backed off.

It was harder than he thought to watch. Keith didn't care for many people, but the people he did care for, he cared for a lot. Too much. Shiro was on his radar now and he wanted to make sure he made it out intact.

But he remembered Shiro mentioning Matt's hovering, and it had to drive him nuts to have his friends not trust him, and...augh. Keith's mind was going into overdrive. He forced himself to back off. It was physically painful.

"Heeey!" Matt called from a distance. "I think I found one!"

"Just one?" Pidge called back. "We're in a forest of them!"

"Did you bring a measuring pole?" One of their other roommates said. Shiro had gone through and introduced some of them to Keith and vice versa, but Keith had always been bad at maintaining names. He just knew that this guy had smiled at him widely and looked friendly enough, so he was okay in Keith's book.

"Shiro's our measuring pole. He's six foot and five inches exactly."

"Is that right?" Keith said, squinting up at him.

Shiro beamed. "How tall are you, Keith?"

"Uhh... I can't tell you. If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"He's hardly taller than me," Pidge blatantly lied.

"Okay, first off, never trust Pidge. She tells lies for sport, I'm not even kidding."

"You're right, you're right, I'm sorry," Pidge snorted. "Keith's actually much taller than you. By like an entire foot. And that's without shoes or the height from his hair."

Keith nodded his approval. "Finally, some truth around here."

Shiro was laughing. "I like you two. I like you two a lot ."

Pidge wiggled her eyebrows at Keith suggestively and Keith flicked her nose. She jumped on Keith's back and attacked him. He wobbled around and screeched, trying to buck her off.

"What are you two doing?" Matt despaired from up ahead. They'd finally caught up. Matt was watching in disapproval.

Pidge jumped off Keith's back and saluted to her brother. "Fighting Keith and winning."

Matt sighed, "As long as you're winning, I guess."

She laughed like a villain.

"This is the tree," Matt said, holding his hands out to it like it was in the middle of a spotlight. "What do you think? Perfect, right?"

Everyone nodded their agreement, except for Pidge, who shrugged with a frown on her face.

Keith rose an eyebrow, seriously questioning the sanity of all of Shiro's friends. "But half of it's brown. I thought a Christmas tree was supposed to be green."

Dead silence.

Keith immediately sensed the tension, pulled taut. He held his breath, looking around at their expressions. They'd all dropped what they were doing - the friendly boy actually literally dropping his phone to the ground - to stare at him blankly.

Keith reflexively backed up beside Shiro. The attention was like a hand pressing over his face. Struggling to breathe, he looked up at Shiro and muttered, "What? What did I say?"

Shiro's posture was also stiff. He said with forced calm, clearing his throat roughly, "Uh...you see colors, Keith?"

Heat bled into his face. Oh. Oh . It had just come out, colors starting to assimilate with his everyday life. He clamped his lips together between his teeth, biting down hard.

Dammit.

Dammit all.

Pidge broke the silence, "It's fine. Right, guys? It's just...rare, that's all. To see color. It's not a big deal."

"You have a soulmate?" Friendly boy asked curiously. "I've never met anyone who could see colors. Besides the color decorator at school."

"I... Um. I just..." He was backing up more, heart thudding harshly against his chest. His feet crunched against the rocks as he slipped out of their ring of friends. He was about to turn and just leave when Shiro's hand caught him by the arm.

He shook his head. "It's fine, Keith. It's none of our business. We won't talk about it anymore. Right, guys? Hunk?"

"I'm sorry," Hunk, the friendly boy, piped up immediately. "I was just curious. I didn't mean anything by it. I think it's cool."

"We won't talk about it anymore," Shiro said again, pointedly.

"Right. Sorry."

"I'm sorry," Keith said faintly, allowing Shiro to pull him back into their group, but he was just an untethered balloon now. Whatever connection he had felt to the group was severed for some reason, as fragile as his trust was.

"There's nothing to apologize for," Shiro said simply. "So this tree's out, huh?" He reached his hand out for the branches and Keith helped guide him to them. "I like Douglas Firs better anyhow."

"A tree snob," Keith breathed out softly, laughing quietly between the two of them. Private. He could share this with Shiro, but he was guarded again from the others.

"Bah, the other trees have weak branches and ornaments end up falling from them and then I end up stepping on them. They hurt."

Keith chuckled under his breath, keeping his eyes down.

Pidge tossed one hesitant look at them and then thought better of it, hopping along the trail to meet up with her brother.

Keith was grateful. It was stupid, but him giving away the fact that he could see colors was more private to him than even he had known. He definitely had not wanted Shiro to know, and here he was.

Keith sucked in another breathful of air. It felt too sharp, too harsh in his lungs.

"Hey, Keith," Shiro said. "Want to rest for a second? I'm kind of tired."

Shiro didn't look tired. His posture was perfectly casual and he wasn't even breaking a sweat.

Keith bit his lip. "Um, yeah, sure."

"Hey, guys," Shiro turned to yell at the others. "Keith and I are going to sit for a bit. You can keep looking."

"What?" Matt complained. He was already far down the trail, a speck in the distance. "But we just got here!"

"You can keep looking ," Shiro said one last time before turning back to Keith and saying softly, but cheerfully, "I think I remember there's a bench over here looking over the mountains. Do you see it? To our right?"

"Mm." Keith began to walk over to it. He had noticed by now that Shiro liked to follow a few paces behind, listening, gauging where Keith had stepped, using Keith as a white cane.

He didn't mention it. Shiro seemed like the type to enjoy being independent, and Pidge was right, he seemed perfectly fine doing it.

Keith sat on the bench and scooted over, patting the empty space beside him audibly.

Shiro smiled at him and sat, a small "thanks" passing over his lips.

"How's the view?" Shiro asked. "Is it beautiful?"

Keith let his eyes fall over the mountains in the distance, dark but dusted in snow. Most of the view was the vivid blue of the sky and fluffy white of the soft clouds floating past in lazy swirls. Down the hill and filling the wide space between them and the mountains were trees. Trees, trees, trees as far as the eye could see. Lush, bountiful, and a deep green.

It would've been pretty even in varying tones of grey, but Keith had to admit that the color was breathtaking. Overwhelming in its ways, but changing somehow. This was the world untouched.

He turned his eyes back to Shiro, who had that faint smile on his lips that was always just there by default. Keith looked at the shining grey of his irises and the softness of his forelock. Keith wished that he could reach out and feel it, but he kept his hand stubbornly by his side.

The view was beautiful, but Shiro was even moreso.

"It's really nice," Keith said softly.

They were sitting so close that he could feel the warmth from Shiro's body. He wondered if Shiro could feel the warmth coming from him too.

A bird flitted past without warning, skirting just inches from their heads before twisting through the sky and into the clouds again. Keith squawked, clutching Shiro's arm in case they needed to evacuate. He turned to make sure there weren't any others following behind.

"What is it?" Shiro asked curiously.

"Did you see that bird?"

A deep laugh. "Mm...no." His tone was coyly amused.

Keith blinked as he realized what he'd asked, turning back to Shiro to make sure he hadn't offended him. Careless. "Oh, god. Sorry. Yeah."

Shiro was smiling still, shaking his head. "No worries."

Keith pulled his hands back to himself, cringing at the mistakes he'd made so far in just the past half hour alone. Silence settled around them again, starting to sour in Keith's stomach.

He had assumed that Shiro had brought him to the side to ask more about the colors, but of course, Shiro being Shiro, he did not.

Instead, he said, "Did you know I was born in Japan?"

Keith snorted, elbowing him gently. "Who would've ever guessed?"

Shiro smiled but continued, "My little brother, Ryou, used to love getting Christmas trees. That was his thing . My parents, they were busy all the time and couldn't really concentrate on the both of us. Ryou was a bit of a handful and I was so compliant, so I didn't argue when they sent me here to live with my grandfather."

Immediately, Keith's sense of protectiveness was activated. Anger boiled in his gut, burning up his chest. "They just got rid of you?"

"It wasn't really like that," Shiro said, brow pulled together tightly as he sought the right words. "They were just trying to find a balance. It was alright, I don't regret it. I loved my grandfather. But then I got into the accident, and, well, I couldn't see. My grandfather didn't care much to get a tree and I just figured, what was the point, you know? My brother wasn't there. I wouldn't know if it was there or not. So why put up all this fuss for just a tree?

"Matt and I went to highschool together. He called me the grinch for years. He managed to get me out a few years back to this very spot, but I don't know... There's just something about it that makes me feel...strange. Kind of sad. Homesick, I guess."

"Why are you telling me this?" Keith said quietly.

Shiro smiled warmly as the wind blew through, tousling their hair. "I don't feel that way with you here."

Keith inhaled sharply through his nose. "Me?"

"There's just something about you, Keith," Shiro shrugged. "I know you feel awkward in crowds, but I'm very grateful that you came. I have fun when you're around. I hope you do too."

"I do. And your friends are really nice. I'm getting used to hanging out with them."

"You and Pidge get along well together. I'm kind of surprised how well. She's always sort of stayed away from the crowd. I thought it was an age thing, but now I'm not so sure."

"We do, don't we?" Keith wondered aloud. "It just...feels right."

"Right? I feel that too."

Keith could see it. With a bit more time, only a small bit, he could envision himself fitting within their group, completely seamless, right at Shiro's side.

He said, "Lance too. I feel like you'd really like him. ...Though, I guess it's easy to say that. You seem to like everyone."

Shiro laughed, but rose a skeptical eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

"Well. You befriended me , didn't you?"

"You say that like it's some huge feat. Keith, how many times do I need to say it until you believe me? You're amazing. I knew it from the moment I first heard your voice. I don't make friends with just anyone. I actually have very high standards."

"Hmmm," Keith's belly rumbled with his suspicious low laughter.

"Keith..." Shiro muttered fondly.

"I'm grateful too," Keith said into their comfortable silence. There was that bird again, floating overhead, effortless and peaceful this time. Keith watched as the wind guided it through the clouds. "I never thought I'd ever be so lucky as to find a friend like you."

Shiro hummed under his breath. "...Hey, Keith?"

"Yeah?"

"This... I... Um..." His face was growing pink, a color that he didn't get normally. Keith watched as it spread up his neck and over his cheeks, finally dusting his ears. His scar disappeared into its rich color. "I've never...seen you. So I... Mind if I ask you some questions about yourself? You can say no. It won't hurt my feelings."

Keith's lip curled into a smile and he narrowed his eyes with a playful crinkle of his nose. "Are you trying to find out whether I'm super ugly or something?"

Shiro choked. "No! Of course not!" There was a bright-eyed energy about him that Keith knew would be way too much fun to poke at.

"Okay, then. Imagine the best looking person you've ever seen, multiply it by ten and you've got me."

"Keith," Shiro was laughing so hard, he had to reposition himself in the seat.

"It's true, it's true," Keith laughed along with him, grinning until it hurt.

He tilted his head back and groaned into the sky. When he swung back forward, he was still laughing. He said, "How can I doubt you?"

"People just avoid me like the plague because they're stunned by the god-like level of my beauty. Totally 100% true. You heard Pidge earlier."

"Come on. I'm already dying from embarrassment here. Have some pity!"

Keith snickered, leaning over to bump their shoulders together. Was it an excuse just to touch Shiro? Yes.

He said warmly as he leaned in close to Shiro, "I'll behave. So go ahead and ask."

Shiro shook the laughter out of his shoulders and made a visible effort to center himself. He nodded softly, thinking as he bit his lip.

"U-um, alright..." Shiro's adam's apple visibly bobbed as he swallowed. "If I ask anything you're even remotely uncomfortable with answering, just...pass. That's all. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Noted."

"Okay... Well. Hah." He leaned forward, fingers clenching to the edge of the bench tightly, nose wrinkling as he scrunched his eyes closed, ready to take the leap. "How long is your hair?"

Keith laughed out loud in surprise. "Here I thought you were going to ask about my six pack or something. You're basically sweating bullets."

Shiro choked. "You have a six pack?"

"It was a joke . What's your mental image of me right now, before I give it all away? What do I look like to you when I talk? Have you ever wondered?"

"Keith..." Shiro said lowly, hunching his shoulders defensively.

"Why are you so embarrassed? It's just me. Pidge makes it her mission to embarrass me in front of you every chance she gets. I imagine it can't get worse than that."

He laughed. "That's true. It's pretty bad."

"Tell me."

"I, uh... Bangs?"

"Correct," Keith smiled, leaning forward to watch Shiro's red trembling face. "They get in my eyes sometimes but I like them a little long. I think it's kind of a comfort thing. I can hide behind them if need be. Don't tell anyone I admitted that, though."

"Pfft, why would someone like you need to hide?"

"Hmm... Next guess, please."

"Uh. Long hair?"

"Yep. About shoulder length. Lance says it looks like a mullet, but it's not that bad."

Shiro flashed a small nervous smile filled with bright tension before he took in a deep breath. "Black sweatshirt."

Keith laughed. "And here I was starting to think you were good at this game. I'm a goth, is that what you were thinking? Is it the smoking?"

He shrugged sheepishly.

"I do have a black sweatshirt in my disaster of a room, but I prefer red. It's kinda my thing."

"Red," Shiro murmured in a tone that sounded like relief. "That suits you somehow."

Keith pressed his lips together self-consciously, shuffling his feet in the grass and rocks beneath his shoes. His voice dropped. "Thanks... What else?"

"Well, I already know you're almost seven foot and five inches."

"If Pidge says it, it's got to be right."

Shiro laughed and Keith joined in.

"I'm actually five foot six. I'm pretty small. It used to really bother me when I was a kid. It was like a big red target painted on my back - 'come get me'."

"Aww."

"I like to wear boots," Keith said. "Up to my knee. And just black jeans. I used to wear black gauges, but they weren't that big. I felt cooler than I looked, I think."

"Gauges," Shiro huffed out laughter. "I wish I could see that..."

"Still want to be my friend?"

"Mm...Gauges are sort of a deal breaker for me."

"Oh, yeah?" Keith snorted. "Too bad. You're stuck with me."

"I guess I'll just have to get over it."

"I guess you will."

"Eyeliner."

Keith laughed under his breath, pressing his lips together as he watched Shiro's expressions range from embarrassment to wonder right back to embarrassment again. "I did go through a phase in high school."

Shiro laughed too. "I was sort of joking, but how am I not surprised?"

"Hey. It looked good . Too much effort though."

Again, Shiro took a deep steadying breath, the apprehension rebuilding in his shoulders. "Hey...Keith?" He asked hesitantly. "What color are your eyes?"

"My eyes?" Keith echoed. A simple question, but it twisted up inside of Keith's mind like a knot. His eyes were purple. The color that had caused him much grief when he was a child because there happened to be that one asshole kid who could see colors and know that purple eyes werestrange . Everyone else just believed him. Even Keith. They weren't normal.

Shiro's heart was gold. He'd accept Keith no matter what and he knew that, but a reflex in Keith, after so many times of being laughed at and ridiculed, forced himself to blurt out, "blue. My eyes are blue."

"Blue?" Shiro asked, as if that weren't the answer he expected.

"Uh, yeah? Why? Is that the deal breaker? Not the gauges after all?"

Shiro forced out a laugh. It was still and awkward. Keith felt the wrongness in the moment.

He took a breath to try to make a joke again, to divert the feeling and talk about something else, but the silence was sharp and it pierced at him, nagging that it was something more important than to treat like that.

He geared up for battle. "Shiro...? What is it?"

"Ah, I... No, it's nothing. I was just...thinking of something else."

Keith narrowed his eyes and angled himself toward Shiro, poking his knee. "What is it?"

That same steadying breath. "...This is going to sound weird."

"Okay, shoot."

"I think maybe it's because I already feel like I've known you since forever, you're familiar to me and I feel like I should know what you look like too, you know? Like, if I get it wrong, it means I've wronged you. I was just surprised. I imagined your eyes a different color. I like blue, there's nothing wrong with blue. It's very pretty." He groaned softly. "...Ah, jeez, I'm really putting my foot in my mouth now..."

"...What color...?" Keith muttered lowly.

"I was just surprised, that's all. Being silly."

Shiro was cringing awkwardly despite the brave smile he was putting on, so Keith decided to drop it.

"Silly, huh? What's new?" Keith hummed fondly.

Shiro's smile grew, genuine. "I think you're amazing, Keith. I know I keep saying it, but I mean it."

"You are such a flatterer," Keith said, voice soft and heart fluttering warmly.

"Not at all, it's just the truth," Shiro said simply, always so simply.

Shiro's easy smile slowly melted into a distressed frown. He fidgeted. "I, uh...usually I don't ask this of people, but, um, if you don't mind - and you can say no - would you...let me touch your face? I can't see you, as you know, so this is...my way..."

It was like being stripped naked in front of your crush. Keith felt so vulnerable at the question alone that he couldn't even find the words to accept or deny. Shiro's hands...his warm, soft, gentle hands...touching Keith's face.

He let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry," Shiro said quickly, angling his body away. "I don't know why I asked that. I never ask that. It's weird. No one wants their faces prodded at by some blind guy."

"Yes," Keith said, winded. "Yes, I don't mind. It's...it's not weird." He cleared his throat and tried to soften the wrinkle in his brow.

"What?" Shiro whipped around toward him, eyes blinking quickly.

"I don't mind, Shiro. You're not just anyone. You're you. Go ahead."

"Are you sure?"

Keith nodded, eyes feeling wide and childish. His heart stripped bear, he shakily reached for Shiro's hands and grabbed them, guiding them slowly to his face.

He let them rest on his cheek. Shiro's touch was how he expected it - butterfly light and so gentle, like he was holding something very precious. There was a slight tremor in his fingertips, so sweetly nervous.

"T-tell me if you want me to stop."

"I will," Keith murmured, trying to be still for him.

Shiro traced Keith's face. He started with his one hand, running it down Keith's cheek and along his jawline. He felt down and along his neck, vulnerable and soft. "I can feel your heart beating," he laughed breathlessly as his fingers grazed his pulse point.

"I'm nervous," Keith admitted, unable to look Shiro in the face. He stared down at his hands in his lap, their legs pressed together.

Shiro brought his other hand up, resting it on Keith's other cheek. "Don't be nervous," he whispered.

"Can't help it."

"Hey," Shiro said, reaching down to grab Keith's hand and place it on the vulnerable pulse point at his neck. It was fluttering too, like wings against thin skin.

They laughed together in breathy silence, helpless at the other's touch.

Shiro's hands felt like an angel's. Each bit of skin that he touched was renewed and healed. The sensations were new. It was strange, being touched in a loving manner. Platonic or not, it didn't matter. It was warmth against warmth, kindness bleeding into kindness. Keith could almost cry at the tenderness.

He ran his fingers across Keith's eyebrows, along his temple, over his eyelids. He felt the hollows beneath Keith's eyes and traveled to the tip of Keith's small nose. And then, daringly, he skimmed across Keith's lips, just a faint touch, but it sent a shock throughout Keith's entire body. Like electricity reviving what had fallen asleep in neglect inside of him.

"Beautiful," Shiro whispered in awe, softly. There was so much emotion in his voice that Keith didn't know what to make of it. His own head was spinning with feelings he almost couldn't contain.

"Shiro," he began. He had to tell him. He had to admit everything. The colors. The reason he was here . It needed to be said now, when his heart was open and bleeding out: I trust you .

"Heeeeyy! What are you guys-?"

They both jumped. It was Pidge, walking up the hill toward them. She stopped the second she saw them. Shiro's hands gently holding Keith's face. Keith, leaning forward halfway into Shiro's lap.

"Oh," she said, blinking at the scene in front of her.

Shiro jerked back, shoving his hands into his lap. Keith leaned back against the bench, face flaming almost as red as Shiro's.

Pidge's surprise softened into a small warm smile. "Sorry. If I had known..."

"It's fine, Pidge," Keith said, tugging at his hoodie. "We'll be right there."

"...Matt sent me to get you. We'll be down by the pond." She turned and walked off.

Shiro cleared his throat roughly and Keith sniffed, both suddenly incredibly awkward.

"Uh, maybe we should -"

"-Yeah. Let's."

They collected their stuff and followed the trail down, neither mentioning what had just happened. Keith's heart was still beating so hard.

The trail was made of gravel still and they were going downhill. It was difficult enough for Keith to navigate his way down with sight, but Shiro walked the whole way without complaint. Keith was there, watching, holding his hand out whenever he thought Shiro might need it.

Nothing happened, though, and they found the group waiting right where Pidge said they'd be, next to a nice looking pine.

"Shiro!" Matt was grumbling. "What took you so long? We probably won't make it in time for lights now."

"I thought that was tomorrow."

Matt heaved a sigh. "I have work in the morning, but I guess if we have to."

"Don't be such a baby." Pidge threw a piece of popcorn at him from the package she was eating from. It hit him square in the face.

"Don't waste food! Anyway, Mr. Sunglasses," he pointed at Keith, "How's this tree look? Green?"

Shiro frowned. "Why is he calling you that?"

Keith groaned. "I have to wear these shitty sunglasses all the time, even inside. I look super lame. They're probably the most uncomfortable things on the face of this planet, but I get headaches otherwise, so..."

"Ahem. What do you think?" Matt gestured grandly toward the tree.

Keith tilted his head, pressing his sunglasses up his nose pointedly. He began walking around the with slow care, showing off his professional inspecting skills. He hummed thoughtfully for a long moment before nodding, short and curt. "I like it."

"He approves!" Hunk cheered.

"I don't know why you're asking me anyway," Keith said, taking his place back beside Shiro again. "If no one else can see color, then what does it matter what it looks like?"

" You can," Hunk said simply. "And you'll be hanging out with us at the dorm more often, right?"

"I...guess?"

"I mean, you two are dating."

Shiro and Keith both choked at the same time. "What?" They demanded in unison, a chorus of shock and embarrassment, sputtering more than making sense.

"Are...are you not? I mean. You kinda definitely look like you're dating."

"We're not dating, Hunk," Shiro said firmly, holding his hand out in a stop pose to solidify his point. "We're just friends."

"We just met each other like two months ago," Keith said.

Hunk stared between the both of them, lips pressed together tightly. Keith could see the woman behind him looking at them with the same arched eyebrow of disbelief. He looked away.

"Okay, whatever you say," Hunk shrugged easily, kneeling to inspect the bottom of the tree. "Someone, hand me the saw. I'll get this guy in no time."

Hunk grunted as he hacked away at the bottom of the tree. Keith turned to Shiro. "You're going to see lights tomorrow? That can't be fun for you."

Shiro shrugged. "It'll be fun if you come."

Keith smiled crookedly. "Who said I was coming?"

Shiro's smile only grew. "Are you not? Don't tell me you have something better planned."

"Damn," Keith breathed out in a puff. "You know me too well. I did have a three hour mope fest planned for the afternoon, but I guess I can put it off for another time if you really need me to ."

"That sounds fun too, though."

"I'm pretty good at it. But seriously, we could do something else that might be more interesting for you."

"Thanks, Keith. Don't you like lights?"

"Hm. I dunno. I've never gone to look at lights specifically. I mean. They're lights."

"Well, we're going then. Then you can properly decide whether you hate them or not for next year."

Keith blushed. Next year, Shiro had said. He thought they'd still be hanging out for an additional year. That was another three hundred and sixty-five days that he and Shiro still had left together. It made him giddy.

Shiro stopped, attention turning. Keith noticed as his expression changed into excitement. "Oh, hey, Allura, you made it," he said with warm familiarity as she walked past with a slight frown. She had her eyes trained on Hunk, who was handing the saw blade-first to Matt. "I thought you said you couldn't come."

She turned, cool eyes skimming over Keith before falling on Shiro's face with a look of fondness. Keith tried to steady the jump of jealousy in his heart. It was uncalled for and completely lame. "Hello, Shiro. I really should be attending to other matters, but you only get Christmas once a year and I'd hate to miss it. You know how I like hanging out with all of you. Is this your friend I've been hearing so much about?"

"This is Keith. He's an astrophysics major too."

"Is that so? How lovely," she turned her smile on Keith. It intimidated him, filling him with noxious feelings that made him unsteady. Along with her perfect posture, perfect hair, and perfect outfit, her perfect smile made it all too much. She was gorgeous, not a hair out of place. Her accent made her even more untouchable.

With a jealous twinge in his heart, Keith realized that someone as perfect as her would be an ideal fit for someone as perfect as Shiro. An astrophysics major. They were the same and yet, so very different. Two opposites, and Keith was the one on the wrong side.

But this was Shiro's friend and, regardless to how much it hurt him to do it, Keith forced himself to hold his hand out. "It's nice to meet you," he said, and cringed at the tone. It wasn't intentional, but even he could tell it changed - iced over in a way he couldn't do to Shiro even if he tried.

Her tone was very much the same. Falsely jovial for Shiro's sake. "And you. It's always nice to have someone with similar interests to talk to. I've had to live with computer and music nerds up until now and they don't make a lick of sense to me most of the time. And it's about time we fill that empty room. I always worry other creatures will find it, like spiders or rodents."

"Oh, Keith's not moving in," Shiro said.

"No? My apologies; that's too bad. Which dorm do you live in, Keith?"

It was the worst possible question. His room could barely be called that - it was more a hole in the wall, but it was all he could afford. Someone like her would never approve. She probably had never even stepped foot near rubbish like it. Chagrined, he resisted the urge to hide behind Shiro. "Oh, you know...just around."

"Hm," she narrowed her eyes, but let it drop. "I'd better help Hunk before he saws off an arm. I don't want a repeat of last year."

Keith watched her stride off, confident, beautiful, and totally in control. Keith let out a shaky breath. "You knew it was her without seeing."

Shiro smiled crookedly. "It's just a matter of paying attention. In these rocks, it's easy to hear strides. Allura's footsteps are very sharp and purposeful. Hunk's are a bit slower and he lets his feet flop a bit more. Matt shuffles his feet. Katie does the same, but she's lighter, so her footsteps aren't quite as loud. She stands on the tips of her toes a lot as she stops walking."

"Wow," Keith muttered, trying to listen as Matt walked to the other side of the tree, grabbing it by the top as it slowly toppled over. "And my gait?"

"Yours varies. You have the slight limp, of course, but it's very hard to detect if you're not paying attention. They're a bit predatory, like you're absorbing the sound into your feet to avoid detection. But sometimes they're more like Allura's. Purposeful. Pressing into the ground. I really do think the two of you would get along well together."

Keith sniffed. "Interesting how you can guess a person's personality by their footsteps."

"It's not a science," Shiro snorted. "But it seems pretty accurate some of the time and it's one of the reasons why you interested me so much the first time we met." He blushed a bit.

"My walk," Keith laughed softly. "Now I'm going to be self conscious."

"Invest in getting lessons from a ninja and you won't have to worry about it."

"Then how else will I lure you into this friendship?"

Shiro nudged Keith playfully in the arm and Keith pushed back gently. He was liking this, the familiar playfulness.

"Hey, you two," Pidge called from a distance, "stop flirting and let's go. Everyone else has left."

Even the embarrassment didn't diminish the warmth that had grown in his heart.

"Hey, Keith," Shiro said, reaching his hand out. Keith reached back without even thinking about it, lacing their hands together as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Shiro said, blushing, "You were right earlier. The ground is a little difficult to walk on. ...Mind lending me an arm?"

Blinking, Keith watched as Shiro waited for a response, looking embarrassed and nervous. Keith slid his fingers from Shiro's grip, locking their arms together instead. "Of course."

Shiro latched on, smiling, warm as the sun. They walked, arms locked, as comfortable as if they'd done it all their lives.

It felt right.


	5. Chapter 5

Next morning, arms crossed tightly and pacing his room as best as it could be paced, he called up Lance.

"I need help."

Lance heaved an exaggerated sigh. "Don't tell me. Homework again."

Keith breathed out slowly, closing his eyes to try to center himself to prepare to take the plunge. "No. It's not homework. And it's not a girl either."

Lance's tone changed to interest. "Oh. What's the problem then?"

Another long slow breath, in this time. "Lance...I... It's not a girl," he breathed out.

"Okay? You said that already. Are you in some sort of trouble? You don't need me to like...hide a body or something, do you? I mean, if you need that, I can come over, but..." There was a nervous edge to Lance's words, suddenly. "You...it's not that, right?"

"No," Keith grunted, pressing his thumb and forefinger into his eyes. "No, it's nothing like that. Look, I just... I don't know how to say this." So many years Lance spent dating girls, going out with them, talking about them, assuming Keith would 'grow into it'. Shiro was definitely not a girl.

"Spit it out, buddy," Lance said, voice crossing between amused and genuinely concerned.

"Um..." Keith shook his hands out. "Um. Okay. So there's this guy at my school. He, uh, his name is Shiro. He was at that party I went to. He's the one I went with looking for Christmas trees."

"Oh, right. You two seem to be getting along well. I won't get jealous, if that's what you're worried about. I know I'm your bestie."

" Lance ," Keith muttered his name out like a curse. "Come on, please. And I've been getting a lot of headaches lately..." He trailed off, hoping Lance would just piece it together for him somehow based on the limited evidence. He was desperate, unwilling to pry the words from his heart himself.

"Yeah, it's weird. You never get headaches. I remember when I got a headache like a year ago and you didn't even know what I was talking about. And how old are you?"

Goddammit, Lance would never get it.

"It's because of the colors," he rushed out, breathless.

Lance, who could never be shut up, went silent on the other end.

Lance was like a brother to Keith. Keith didn't want to lose him.

He was was winded, dizzy, his world was spinning. "Lance," he begged into the silence. "Just say something."

"You have a soulmate?" His voice was blank.

"I think so. I don't know. He saw colors before me."

"What?" A choked silence. "Wait, 'he'?"

Keith was breathing hard. "...Shiro."

"Your friend ?"

"I didn't know him when I first saw him," Keith said softly.

"Oh..." Lance said. And then, " oh ."

Shakily, Keith lowered himself onto his bed, shoving his face into his hand.

"Your soulmate is Shiro? Your friend? ...Not a friend. More than a friend." His voice was bursting with excitement, lilting in sing-song fashion. Conspiratorially, he muttered, "Scandalous. So all those homework questions were really about him?"

" Yes ."

"I knew there wasn't a class that'd be all about that. I just knew it. Well...why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not weird?" Keith muttered, shaking his head as he tried to keep up with Lance. He expected an argument, or disgust, or at least confusion. He hadn't expected instant acceptance. "You've always tried to set me up with other girls."

"Yeah, well, that's because I like girls and I just assumed. I didn't know, man. Sorry. You should've just said something. Just like you to be so emotionally constipated."

Keith let out a shaky breath of relief. That was so Lance. Tension rolled off his shoulders and he allowed himself to breathe in again, a small smile finding its way to his lips. "I didn't know either. I just thought...I thought that sort of thing wasn't for me. Relationships. People. But Lance, you should meet him... He's...he's amazing. I've never met anyone like him before. He's so kind and soft and smart. I tried to avoid him at first, I really did. But he's like a magnet I can't avoid. Everyone on campus loves him. And I just...can't stop thinking about him."

"Man," Lance said, whistling lowly. "You really do have it bad... I can't believe this. You, of all people. You always told me colors were a fabricated lie our parents told us to make us believe in magic, like Santa or something. And now look at you."

"I really like him, Lance..." Keith murmured. "So...can you help me?"

There was a spot of silence in which Keith just knew Lance was smiling widely, soaking in the moment Keith finally asked him for his advice. I told you so was probably running through his mind. Keith had never believed he'd be here, asking for this, but here he was.

Lance laughed, "You've got it, buddy. What do you need?"

"I've never liked anyone before," Keith admitted, voice small. "We're going out to see lights together tonight. And I mean, I know he has another soulmate, but I've never seen them before. And even if he does, I...I want to fight for him."

"Hmmm. So you want to know how to fight his soulmate? I know a few moves."

"Ha. No. I was thinking more along the lines of advice on what to wear and how to act. Like...is there secret code or something? Things I should do? Or avoid? I don't know. Help me."

"Keith. Buddy. Calm down. First off, didn't you mention he was blind? Will it really matter what you wear?"

"That's not the point. And what if he feels it? Then he'll know."

" Feel it ? Jesus, what base are you at already? I thought you just met the guy."

Keith kicked his closet open. "A hat or no hat?"

"Hat. That red one Mom knit for you. You look good in it. Festive."

"Okay," Keith narrowed his eyes, searching out the hat in his mess of a closet. "Have you ever messed up a date spectacularly and then ended up friends still?"

"Me? No. But I think my mess ups might be a little more explosively spectacular than you're capable of."

"True," Keith muttered, pulling out pants. Black jeans. He knew he would wear that much. And boots. Done.

"Don't wear a shirt with holes in it."

"Look at you being so helpful," Keith rolled his eyes. "I never would've picked up on that one myself."

"Look at you being so snippy when it was you who called me , lover boy."

Keith stopped, heaving a big sigh, hoping to get rid of the nervousness plaguing his stomach. "You're right. I'm sorry. ...I just...want this to go well. I want this to be perfect."

"Stop worrying so much," Lance said easily. "He's been hanging around you for this long already, that's gotta mean something, right? And you can actually be kind of cool when you don't have a stick up your ass."

"No stick up my ass...check."

"And don't be a sarcastic smart-ass."

"I only save that specially for you."

"See? Then we're done here. Just be you. I know it sounds corny, but it's true."

Keith inhaled, standing tall. "Thanks, Lance."

"I'm pretty good with the advice, you know."

"Well, that, and about...being cool over the whole Shiro thing. It surprised me when I found out and I know it's a lot to take in and you've been...good. So, thanks."

"You're my brother," Lance said simply. "You know I'll care about you no matter what. And I know you've got my back too, so...yeah."

"Yeah," Keith said. It was true. "You've always been there for me. And if you ever need me...me too. For you."

There was a gurgling noise on the other end of his phone. "Okay, okay! Now that we've both confessed our undying love for eachother, let's never get this sappy ever again. If I do, just put me out of my misery. But seriously, if you need me, call me. I'm always happy to impart my special Lance wisdom on your little amoeba brain."

Keith smiled. Drive him crazy as he may, he sure was grateful for him. Even if they weren't related by blood, Keith knew he still had a brother.

He ended up wearing his usual pants and boots, coupled with his usual shirt and a black sweatshirt. This time though, he was wearing a hat and scarf, so it was considered festive. It was even red. He put in a lot of effort to look this seasonal and cool.

Keith made his way to their dorm and knocked on the door. "Come in," he heard someone yell, but when he pushed the door open, they were all gone from downstairs.

It felt awkward just letting himself in, but when he saw the tree in the corner, standing proudly, something he had been a part of choosing, he felt a bit better about it. He made his mark on their family, at least by a little.

"Hello?" He called upstairs, slowly allowing himself to travel up there. No one answered and he sighed.

He went to Shiro's door, which was cracked open slightly. When he pushed it open, it didn't make a sound.

Shiro was singing. It was soft, under his breath as he was brushing out the little hair he had. But it was beautiful. Just as Keith had expected it and more. Rich and hypnotic, dipping smoothly and winding through the air like ribbons.

He knew it was bad of him to not announce his presence, but he lost himself in listening. It wasn't until Shiro stopped singing that Keith finally returned to himself. He cleared his throat, uncrossing his arms and reaching over to turn on the light.

"Hey," he said. "It's me."

"Keith," Shiro blinked, face glowing red. "Hey. Uh, how long have you been there?"

"You were singing," Keith admitted shyly.

His ears were red too. "Agh..."

"It was really nice," Keith said quickly. "You have a wonderful voice."

Before Shiro had a chance to respond, footsteps came barreling in. "Keith!" Pidge grinned, skidding to a stop only seconds before tossing her arms around him like a child. "You're coming."

"Yeah, that okay?"

"Of course. Keeps Shiro happy. I haven't heard him sing this much since ever."

"Ah..." Shiro went even redder, rubbing the back of his head.

"He sings when he's happy," Pidge winked. "Fun fact about him."

"Oh," Keith blinked, smiling. That was sort of sweet. The more he thought about it, the more his heart fluttered. "I can't sing to save my life."

"I doubt that," Shiro said softly, and there was so much confidence in his voice, Keith almost believed him. "I like the sound of your voice; add a melody to it and..."

Pidge gagged. "So we're going to take a car to the suburbs off the freeway. They have the nicest lights. But we don't want to take two cars. And we don't have enough room."

"Oh," Keith blinked. "I can stay back. It's fine."

"No, no, no," Pidge groaned.

Keith frowned and the same time Shiro perked up and said, "Oh, we could share a seat, Keith. If you don't mind."

"Um. Sure. If that's really okay?"

It wasn't.

The van was spacious but not when cramming a house full of people into limited seats. And Shiro was big. He could easily take up two seats. One was not going to be shared between him and anyone.

Pidge snapped her fingers with a flash of fake inspiration. "Oh, I know. Keith is so small. He probably weighs like, what, one of your arms? Why doesn't he just sit on your lap?"

Hunk's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion as he pointed between her and Keith. "But Pidge, aren't you smaller - Oof!"

Pidge had elbowed him hard in the ribs.

Shiro's eyes widened and he took in a deep breath. "I, uh...if that's okay with Keith?"

Sitting on Shiro's lap. His brain locked in place.

"Go," Pidge nudged him in the back. "Thank me later."

Keith looked down at Shiro's thighs. His pants were tight, clinging to his skin. Really tight. He felt faint just looking at them. "...Really, I don't mind staying back. It'll be so uncomfortable for you."

Shiro smiled kindly, patting his legs. "You underestimate me. I won't break."

Whispering a prayer, Keith climbed onto his lap, positioning himself carefully. They were in the backmost seat where there was the most space, Pidge seated next to them.

Shiro's legs were firm and they were warm and plaint and Keith thought he might combust right then and there. Hesitantly, Shiro wrapped one arm around his waist, each individual finger resting on Keith's torso lighting a fire in his belly that ran up his chest and straight into his heart.

"You okay?" Shiro asked.

"Yeah," Keith nodded, trying to suppress his embarrassment. "I'm good."

"You really are light," Shiro said.

Matt was driving, so he chose the music which would, of course, be only corny Christmas songs, something Keith had always cringed at. Everyone sang along, even Shiro, who kept his voice quiet in consideration of Keith's ear. Beautiful, rich, pleasant voice. It was the only way Keith survived a carful of Christmas songs.

Keith was the only one who didn't sing, but he enjoyed their cheer. He'd never hung out with people who were so excited about the holidays. Well, people he actually liked. Usually, the Christmas cheer sickened Keith, bringing about memories of his father's abandonment, but he found it not the case this time around. His new friends were endearing, silly, and amusing all at the same time and he wondered when and how it was his heart had changed and become this warm.

The car hit a bump in the road, jolting Keith backwards against Shiro, body completely cradled by body. Keith choked, eyes flying wide. Warm, warm, so warm. He tilted his head back against Shiro's shoulder, looking up at his face.

It was too much. His senses heightened into a blurred mess he couldn't decipher.

"Sorry," he muttered quickly, pushing himself away again, clinging to the seat in front of him for dear life. He focused on his breathing.

"No worries," Shiro said with forced ease, his voice a bit strained beneath the layers.

It was more awkward than Keith thought he could bear, but it was over before they knew it, van parked on the sidewalk of a rich-y neighborhood.

Apparently, they weren't the only ones with the idea. There were crowds of people walking down the sidewalks to look at the lights. Keith wrinkled his nose at the sight of it.

Matt was wearing reindeer antlers. Pidge had a Santa hat on. Nearly all of them were wearing ugly Christmas sweaters, including Shiro. He had a reindeer with a ball on its nose. It was very red, like a cherry.

"We match," Keith laughed, pressing his fingers into the ball.

Shiro smiled, "Matt got it for me last year and he made me wear it. He told me that it's just a candy cane, but somehow I don't believe him because every time he says that, Hunk snickers. What's it really? No one else will tell me. Please. I'm begging you."

Keith snorted. "It's a reindeer running over someone in the snow and smiling about it."

Shiro sighed. "I knew I should've asked you earlier. Is it bad?"

"It's kinda cute in a macabre sort of way."

"Great," Shiro muttered. "Dang Matt."

Keith bumped his extended arm out to Shiro. "Need help walking the pathway? I'll watch for uneven ground."

A private smile blossom across Shiro's face as he linked his arm through Keith's. "Thank you."

They walked behind the group, Keith paying more attention to the ground than the lights. The entire neighborhood was bursting with color, flashing and spinning, and he could feel the beginnings of a migraine slipping up his neck. Looking down was much easier.

Lights were strung from tree to tree over the street. There were tunnels running down the sidewalks, lighting their faces with a warm colorful glow. There was even a horse carriage clopping past, decorated with red velvet ribbons and singing golden bells.

The others seemed to enjoy it, even in their black and white. Shiro just smiled warmly as they walked, somehow enjoying himself despite his own personal darkness.

"This one sucks," Keith began to narrate, watching as Shiro's eyes would light up at attention. His stomach did a little flip at that. "There are icicles lining the gutters and the rest are some holographic snowflakes. They're not even trying."

"A holograph?"

"That's it," Keith tutted. "They don't even compare to real lights; it's the laziest way. Just green and red too. Typical."

"And you were making fun of me for being a tree snob? Look at Mr. Professional Light judge over here."

Keith huffed out a laugh that created clouds in the air. "The next one is better. They have Santa's legs coming out of the chimney on top. Are they moving?" He squinted. "An animatronic. He's kicking his feet."

Shiro chuckled. "And the lights?"

"Green, red, and yellow. They're lining the whole house making it almost look like a gingerbread house. They have life-size candy canes on either side of their garage. A snowman head with a top hat in their basketball hoop."

"Ooh. I like this one."

"Right? There's a dog made of lights in a doghouse. They put a real bone in its mouth."

Shiro laughed. "The next one?"

Keith guided them down the pathway to it. "Hmmm. Blue this time. There's a -"

A woman turned sharply. "Do you have to?"

Keith blinked, genuinely confused. "Excuse me?"

"We're trying to have a peaceful night enjoying the lights. We don't need you to give us a play-by-play."

Shiro plastered a smile on his face. "We're sorry, ma'am -"

"-No, we're not," Keith interrupted, angling Shiro behind him and sticking up his chin. "We can talk if we want to."

Her voice was rising. "You're interrupting our night. Are you really that selfish?"

Keith felt his blood boiling, but he could also feel Shiro's guilt and discomfort. What he wanted to do was give her a piece of his mind, loudly, as aggressively as he could because he was mad - she didn't deserve to be ruining Shiro's night. But then again, Shiro didn't deserve having to deal with his temper either.

He grit his teeth hard and with one last tense glare at her, he tugged Shiro off the sidewalk toward the other side of the road. "Come on, Shiro. Let's go over here."

"That's where we were going to go," the lady crowed.

"Go fuck yourself," Keith said easily, flipping her off and continuing on his way.

"She was so full of bullshit," he muttered darkly, still trying to shake his anger off. "Watch your step here. We're going back on the sidewalk."

Shiro stepped up easily. "You didn't have to do that. I like just walking with you. You don't need to -"

"-I want to," Keith said. "We're all here to enjoy the lights, you included. There isn't any 'no talking' rule. It's ridiculous. She's ridiculous."

Shiro chuckled softly, hand squeezing Keith's arm. "...Thanks, Keith."

"Yeah. Wow, okay the houses over here are way better anyway. Get a load of this one..."

They continued around the neighborhood, Keith describing the lights to Shiro best as he could and they had fun rating the houses together.

Two hours passed by too quickly, and by that time, they realized that they were completely separated from the group. When they took out their cell phones, neither had service.

"Well," Shiro said, chuckling slightly, "I guess you couldn't be good at everything."

"What's that supposed to mean, asshole?" Keith laughed, bumping him with his hip.

"Keith, if I don't make it out of here, I want you to -"

"-Shut it," Keith said pleasantly, looking around. All the streets looked the same to him and each house was an explosion of lights, so it was difficult to use them as landmarks. He didn't recognize anyone on the streets, but he was warm beside Shiro and he didn't want to go home to his quiet lonely room anyway, so he wasn't too panic-stricken.

"I can't believe we don't have service here," Keith frowned into his phone again.

"Hm. We never usually go this far, I don't think. Hopefully they're waiting for us."

Keith snorted. "If not, we can find a nice lawn to take refuge on. Maybe find a doghouse made of lights so we'll keep warm." He scratched at his nose. "I'm sorry though. You're relying on me and I wasn't paying attention."

"If it counts for anything, you have been paying very good attention to uneven ground. And seriously, I'm having a lot more fun with you here than any other time."

"Really? Don't they explain the lights to you in previous years?"

"They do," he said, "but none of them see color, so it's basically just, 'there's some more!'" He leaned in and said lowly, "And usually they don't cuss at old ladies, so it's really no fun."

"Aw, man, you've been missing out all these years."

Shiro chuckled warmly. "Yeah, where've you been all this time?"

Shiro opened his mouth to say something but, suddenly, emotions flitted across his face and he closed it. He was quiet for a moment as he pressed his lips together tightly, eyes falling into thought.

Keith tilted his head, leaning in closer to see Shiro's expression shifting. "You look serious suddenly."

"Hey, Keith..." Shiro forced out. "Since you see colors, does that mean...you have a soulmate?"

"Me?" He swallowed hard. "I...suppose I do. That's what color means, right?"

"A long-distance girlfriend?"

Keith rose his eyebrows.

"I heard you talking to Lance on the phone awhile back ago, remember?"

"Oh, he was wrong. It's not unusual for him to be wrong."

"Is that so? Long-distance boyfriend?"

Keith shook his head, pulling Shiro in closer as they walked beneath a tunnel of lights. "We're going through a tunnel of lights right now. Rainbow colors. They're twinkling."

Shiro hummed, tilting his head back. "It's warmer in here," he murmured softly.

Keith watched him, feeling his heart grow soft. The lights twinkled off Shiro's face like fairy dust, lighting his eyelashes delicately. Keith said gently, "No boyfriend. No anything."

"But you see colors? I'm sorry, I know I said I wouldn't mention it again. It's just been eating at me."

"I don't mind if it's you, Shiro, but...there's not really much to say. I think it might've been some kind of mistake honestly. I never used to buy into the whole soulmate garbage anyway."

"No? When I was a kid, that's all I hoped for. I'd go out of my way to look everyone in the eye to make sure I wasn't missing any opportunities."

Keith laughed aloud. "What a dork."

"I was a dorky kid," Shiro agreed. "But waiting for that, I might've missed out on a lot of opportunities that were standing right in front of my face."

Keith hummed. He wouldn't know what that was like. "You too," Keith said. "You saw colors too."

Keith didn't look at him, but he could feel the waves of shock permeating the air until Shiro managed a tight, "How...did you know that?"

"You've mentioned it before. You said the sky was purple at night."

"...So I did..." He whispered. There was a tension in his words that surprised Keith. He hadn't expected excitement, but he didn't think he'd hear Shiro sound so sad.

Sensing the mood change like a kick to the gut, Keith said quickly, "You don't have to tell me."

"It's okay..." Shiro said in a mystified voice, as if only just realized it. "Since it's you who asked."

He shrugged out his shoulders, face pained. "I waited for so long to see colors," Shiro said. "But it wasn't like I thought it'd be. When I saw my soulmate, color spilled into my vision and I...I ruined everything. I acted rashly. He darted off too quickly and then...then, not minutes later, I was blind."

"The boy from your story... He was...he was your soulmate," Keith realized, heart tugging painfully.

"Yeah, I guess 'was' is the appropriate term, isn't it? He's gone by now."

The words were heavy and stuck to the night air like gunk.

Keith said, "I'm sorry. It was an insensitive choice of words."

"It's okay," Shiro said. "It was a long time ago."

"You said no one could find him? Did you try the local schools? The place you first saw him?"

"I did. I tried everything. My grandpa even believed me at first and tried to help me. No one knows of any boy with purple eyes. They all thought I was crazy."

Keith froze.

In the stifled silence, Shiro shifted.

"Purple eyes?" Keith muttered, feeling detached from his body suddenly, like he were floating above them, walking on auto-pilot. "But...it's not...natural to have purple eyes..."

"Right. What am I saying...?" He pressed his lips together tightly, that frown still there, hiding away his usual smile. "Ever heard of Alexander's Genesis? People who looked upon a blessed light and got pale skin, purple hair, and perfect genetics in return. A fairytale. I used to read a lot when I was younger, so everyone thought I was making it up, like that could be a good excuse as to why I ran in front of a car. Like I was chasing after something that didn't exist. It sounds crazy, I know. Perfect beings. It's not that. I didn't think he was some mythical being, but I just. I know. I know I saw it. The boy didn't even look at me, but I'm sure of it. I'm sure his eyes were purple. It was the first color I saw."

"I believe you," Keith breathed, pressing one hand to the hollows beneath his eyes lightly, as if he could feel the color in them.

Shiro stopped in his tracks. "You do?" He said in surprise.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. Why would you lie?"

His mouth hung open wide as he gaped in stillness. "I...yeah. Thanks, Keith. No one's ever believed me before."

"Nobody?" Keith said softly.

"No. Matt laughed for half a day when I told him, I swear. He thinks it's some sort of coping mechanism or something, I dunno."

"Some people have purple eyes," Keith continued weakly, feeling like his legs might give out at any moment. They were still standing in place, the ending of the light tunnel over their heads. The crowd had thinned out during the late hour and it was just them and the night sky, twinkling stars up above.

"Ah..." Shiro smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Now you're just pitying me."

"No, I -"

"It's okay. Really," he said firmly, waving the thought away. "It's fine. Who cares about fate anyway? Even if it is real, guiding us through this earth, it's what made me blind, right? And you an orphan. Why would we want to follow what it wants for us, if that's what it gives us in the end? Fate's a joke. I say we carve our own path."

Keith looked up at him, so strong, so brave, even in a world of darkness. Keith's heart filled with unbearable fondness, stars in his eyes as he watched Shiro's beautiful face, his kind soul. "Yeah. Fight for what we want."

"You know what's funny?" Shiro said. "When I first met you, I thought you were the boy... For no real reason in particular, I just...I thought I felt it."

Keith almost took a step backward just to breath. "Shiro," he said seriously. He needed to tell him. He needed to get the words out. "Shiro -"

"- No. Listen to me. It doesn't matter even if I found that boy now. I already know what I want and it has nothing to do with colors or soulmates or fate. It just has to do with me and what I feel in my heart."

Keith watched as Shiro turned slightly, so they were face each other. There was a small divot between his eyebrows and a deep blush developing in his cheeks. "Keith, I...you're special to me. From the moment I first met you, I've felt this pull. I think - Can I -"

He let out a soft clipped breath, hands coming up to cup Keith's face. And in that moment that Keith slowly started realizing what he was doing, he brushed a finger across Keith's cheek, grazing his lips, and then he dipped down.

Warm. So warm and soft and sweet.

Shiro was kissing him. Hands cupping his face, chest pressed against chest, two lone figures huddled close for warmth, lit up beneath the twinkling of Christmas lights.

Keith's body went rigid and numb, his brain going blank. He'd never expected to be kissed. Ever. Never thought, never dared to even hope. His heart was so cold and he wouldn't be a good friend, let alone a lover.

Only a few months back, he was friendless at school. Barely uttered a word, pressed down by his own silence. And suddenly, he was being kissed beneath the stars, surrounded by Christmas lights, being held tightly like he was something precious.

No one ever held him. Not since he was a baby. And he realized how damned lonely he had been until now. How starved for affection his entire soul had felt. He had been alone in the universe for so long, but suddenly, he wasn't.

There wasn't a word for those emotions. They swelled up in his heart and choked him at the impossibility of it all.

He felt so loved. He hadn't felt it in such a long long time. It was as overwhelming as when he had first seen colors flooding his vision, taking over the black and white he had been used to. But it was good this time. So good.

Shiro jerked back suddenly, as if electrocuted.

Keith blinked and swayed at the lack of contact, eyes fluttering open. Shiro was touching his own cheek with his fingers, feeling the wetness there. Keith felt his own. Tears. Keith had been crying.

Mortified, Shiro whispered, "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I thought -"

"No! Shiro. I'm not... It's not like that. I -"

"-You're crying . I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry. Please. I know it's weird. I know it's so strange, but if we can just forget what I did and go back to how we were before. I'm so happy with you as it is. Please, Keith. ...I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," Keith said, reaching out and grabbing Shiro's coat, tugging him closer. He buried his face in his sweater. "You won't."

Slowly, as if he didn't believe it, Shiro placed his hands tentatively on Keith's hips. "...Why are you crying?" Shiro asked softly, voice sad.

Keith's voice was barely above a whisper as he pressed the words into his shoulder. "I haven't been this happy in a long long time."

"Keith," Shiro said softly. "I -"

The phone rang, right at the worst time. They jumped apart from each other. Keith sniffed hard as Shiro dug his phone from his pocket. "God, I'm sorry," Shiro whispered, frustration coating his voice as he answered it. "Yeah?"

Keith could hear Matt on the other end, aggravated, and Shiro defending them, explaining their situation.

Keith couldn't focus on that. He was too busy watching Shiro's mouth move around words. They were soft. Keith pressed his fingers against his own lips, chasing the feel of Shiro's warmth, of the pressure of his lips against Keith's.

"Keith?" Shiro said, pulling him back to reality.

"Uh?"

"I'm sorry about that. Looks like we have service again. Want to type in our destination into Maps? Matt's got an early class tomorrow and he's pretty upset; it's half past midnight already somehow. Time passes quickly when I'm with you."

"Oh. Oh, right. Of course. That. Maps." He fished his phone from his pocket and, with shaky hands, pulled up his Maps app.

"...We can talk more later," Shiro promised, reaching out for Keith and linking their arms together again. It felt easy, like they'd done it all their lives. Keith snuggled in closer by what felt like a reflex, eyes still on his phone.

They walked briskly after that in comfortable silence. The sounds of crickets in the distance sung through the air, the twinkling of the stars giving them company.

It was almost too soon when they finally found the van again.

"There you guys are!" Matt harped. "We've been waiting forever! You keep doing this! You're terrors together!"

"He's complaining now, but before we could get ahold of you, he was ready to call the entire police force to go searching for the both of you," Hunk laughed.

"Not the entire police force," he grumbled, jumping back into the driver's seat.

Pidge was already asleep in the back seat, curled into a little ball. Keith took his place on Shiro's lap. It wasn't the least bit awkward this time. Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith's waist and Keith leaned back, tired to his bones suddenly, letting his head rest on Shiro's shoulder.

He hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep, wrapped in golden slumber, feeling safe and protected - something he couldn't remember ever feeling - until he was being gently shaken awake.

"Time to get up, sleepyhead," Shiro said into his ear.

He cracked his eyes open for a moment, shifting closer into Shiro's warmth before remembering himself and forcing himself to get up properly.

The lights were on inside the van. Pidge was sitting up, blinking owlishly at the two of them.

Trying to cover a yawn, Keith crawled off his lap and hopped out, turning to offer Shiro a hand.

Shiro came out next, looking tired too, but happy.

"Bye, Keith," they all chorused together, waving as they disappeared down their driveway into their dorm.

Shiro waited by the door, hand still on Keith's arm. "I'm glad you came. Will you make it home alright? I can pull out a cot and you can stay here, if you'd like. The streets aren't safe at night."

"Mm, nah. I live like...right across the street. You can almost see it from here. I can crawl if I need to."

"Call me really quick when you get back so I know you're safe."

Keith smiled, laughing softly, totally and completely enchanted. When had he even heard of someone so kind as to worry like that? He was so damn fond of this boy. "Okay, Mom."

Shiro flashed a smile. "Tomorrow. After school. Let's do something."

Then. That was his time to say everything. That they really were soulmates. That fate wasn't as sick and twisted as they had thought. "I have a lot to tell you," Keith said softly. "A lot."

"I look forward to it."

"Goodnight, Shiro," Keith said, leaning up on his tiptoes and tilting his head, pressing his lips to Shiro's cheek.

Before he could see Shiro's reaction, he turned, face beet red from embarrassment, heart hammering. He began walking away, beneath the street lights.

There was a moment of silence and then a small, fond chuckle, "Goodnight, Keith."

"'Night," he called, pressing his hands to his face. God. He couldn't take it. Shiro. How damn perfect he was. For once, Keith felt like life was good and maybe all those years of suffering were a price to be paid, and this was the reward, and he could be happy again. Finally.

He didn't stop smiling the entire night, even in sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

"You're happy today," Pidge said, handing Keith a pipette - the ultimate display of her trust.

He crouched down and eyed the liquid in the beaker with fake concentration. "Shiro kissed me yesterday," he said, ducking his head to hide his smile. He figured he owed Pidge the truth; she was their biggest fan after all. "I kissed him too."

Pidge's eyebrows shot up high on her forehead before she broke out in a wide grin and laughed. "Congrats, you two. I knew it'd happen eventually. You both were so obvious."

"Really?" He breathed, unable to keep the smile off his face. "Did he ever say anything about me?"

"Like, all the time," she rolled her eyes. "I think I know more about you than you know about you."

Keith laughed under his breath. "Thanks, Pidge. For your help. I've seen you working your magic."

"He's your soulmate, isn't he? The one? I could tell by your face whenever we talked about it."

"...Yeah. Yeah."

"So...you were the boy he saw when you were kids? The one getting beaten up?"

"I used to get bullied a lot."

"He thought he saw you fall into a canal. What happened?"

Keith shrugged. "There were so many incidents like that. It got bad for awhile. I think I do remember that one because I hurt my leg pretty badly. Still have a limp. Obviously, I was alright though."

"Crazy to think that, after all these years, you guys wound up together again. What'd he say when you told him?"

"Haven't yet."

Pidge put down her tongs and shoved a hand to her hip. " What ?"

"I'm going to tell him tonight. We ran out of time last night."

"You guys were out there for ages," she muttered, going back to her work with one eyebrow raised. "How'd you run out of time?" But then she stopped and made a face. "Oh. Kissing. The humanity. "

"It wasn't like that!"

"You weren't interrupted under the stars mid-kiss?"

Keith groaned. "...Okay, maybe it was like that."

"Oh, my god. You guys are such a cliche. How do I keep guessing correctly like this? I told you I was more of a genius than Einstein."

"He guessed when people were making out?" Keith laughed.

"Look at you two," the teacher said as she walked past, checking on all of their progress. "My two lone wolves getting along. Glad to see you two making friends."

Keith, who might've glared or snarled at a comment like that previously, felt himself smile. You know what? He was glad too. More than glad. He smiled over at Pidge, nudging her gently on the arm.

She wrinkled her nose at him, sticking out her tongue, but she grinned too, nudging him right back.

Friends. Yeah. He liked the sound of that.

After school, he felt a little silly, but he basically ran to Shiro's place, trying to be mindful of the people on the paths. It was hard to control himself now that he had purpose in his step. He wanted to run into Shiro's arms and snuggle his face into his shoulder again.

He'd tell him everything. He'd start by assuring Shiro that he felt the same way, that even if they weren't soulmates, he'd choose him.

But then he'd reveal that they were. That his eyes were the purple of Shiro's memories. That they were destined to be together.

Soulmates.

It had shocked even him; he hadn't made the connection until the night before. Keith was the boy. The one Shiro had tried to help, the one he'd been searching for all these years. He was the boy who had ran, like a total idiot, from his savior.

...But then that would also mean he was the one who had darted recklessly in front of a car, narrowly avoiding being hit.

The one who let Shiro get hit instead.

It hit him like a slap across the face as he realized. His footsteps slowed.

If Keith had been the boy in Shiro's story, the one who had given him colors, it also meant that Keith was the one who had taken them away.

Keith's steps stuttered to a stop. He stood there, alone in the middle of the quad, breaths quickening, eyes staring at the floor in fixed horror.

He was the one who had robbed Shiro of his sight.

All of his struggles that came with it, his world of inescapable darkness, the fault of Keith's and Keith's alone.

A small pained gasp left him as the cold truth sunk in.

Desperation strangled Keith. He found himself running the rest of the way to Shiro's place, horrified.

It was his fault. It was all his fault.

"Shiro!" He cried, bursting through the front door. He ran past their Christmas tree and sprinted up the stairs. He wasn't sure what he'd say. He'd apologize. Apologize, apologize, and keep apologizing until his throat bled raw and his tears ran dry. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that someone as sweet and kind and caring as Shiro could have his sight taken from him, when it had been Keith who had run into that road, Keith who had been foolish enough to run from Shiro's innocent kindness, instead of just accepting it, like a normal person .

It didn't matter if Keith hadn't known what would happen, or that he had been a kid. Keith took Shiro's sight from him. There was no way he could ever make up for that. Ever.

And he realized that it made sense now, that it'd come to this. The happiness he'd been feeling lately was too much of a contrast from his life thus far.

Shiro had seemed like a miracle, but Keith had known better. He was such a fool.

He swung the door open and turned inside.

Shiro was at his piano, sitting on the bench, fingers resting on the keys.

Allura, perfect Allura, was sitting beside him, faces not even centimeters apart.

Her lips were pressed gently to his cheek.

They were kissing.

Keith jerked back, entire body banging hard into the door behind him, startling them all.

"Shiro..." Keith said, the weight of betrayal winding him.

He had thought...

Shiro had said...

"Keith?" Shiro said, getting to his feet. "Wait -"

Typical. So typical. How could he have forgotten? Life didn't give things. Life took away. He had known that all along, but he had fallen into hope's trap again .

So he turned and he ran, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world for thinking life could change.

He wanted to be alone . Totally, completely alone, so he snuck through the window in the auditorium, climbed up the stage, and ran up the steps backstage, up to the roof.

From there, he grabbed a board on the ground, lifting it up and over the space between where he stood and the next building's rooftop. He slid it carefully into place and frowned down at the ground below. Way too far down to survive the fall intact, but he was desperate.

He wasn't clumsy, but it was dangerous enough to take it slowly across. There was a little ledge there, but it wasn't his aim. He climbed another ladder to the top of the next roof - the highest place in their school, closest to the stars, farthest from the people.

His teacher had mentioned the place as the best vantage point to see the stars, but of course, the teacher had had a key to it. Keith had to find his own way.

No one else would be stupid enough to come this way, so that meant complete seclusion. Keith let himself sink to the floor and he buried his face into his knees.

Shiro.

He knew it.

He knew it was all too good to be true and that perfect people fit together best with other perfect people. Keith was just a piece of trash. He already knew that. He had been so foolish to let himself believe.

His phone vibrated. He ignored it at first, but then it did it again, irritating him.

Wiping his hair from his face miserably, he fished it from his pocket and looked at the name.

He expected Lance - what he didn't expect was Pidge's name flashing across the screen.

He swallowed hard, ignoring it.

Pidge. Their friendship was probably a joke too. It's not like he deserved the kindness she'd shown him thus far. She was probably laughing at him.

His phone buzzed again.

With frustration, he jerked it from his pocket. He had every intention of answering it roughly and telling her to stop calling already, take the damn hint , but then his finger jerked to a stop as he saw the name.

Shiro.

It was Shiro, searching for him.

His heart fluttered at seeing the name, but he harshly cut off the feeling, thinking of Allura. Thinking of Shiro and her sitting on the bench together, her hand on his arm.

They had looked good together; Keith had already known that though, just like he'd already known he and Shiro just didn't make any sense.

He grimaced, shutting the phone down completely.

He hurt. The past few months had been his favorite of his life. He had felt loved and cared for, if only just for a moment. That moment meant something.

This chapter in his life was just over, that was all. A moment to remember fondly and that was it.

There was a loud clang down below and Keith jolted to a start.

Heart thudding in dread, he crawled quickly to the side of the rooftop, looking down.

" No ," he breathed. "What are you doing? You'll kill yourself!"

It was Shiro, cane out, tentatively feeling his way across the roof. "I've never let my lack of sight stop me from doing things I know I needed to do. I won't let it start now."

"You idiot! You're on a rooftop, do you know that? You fall and you're dead. Go away. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk right now."

"I tried calling you, but you wouldn't answer. So I came here."

"How'd you even find me?"

"You mentioned it before, remember?"

Keith frowned. Vaguely, he recalled something about it. He couldn't believe that anyone actually listened that closely to remember.

"Keith," Shiro said gently, traveling closer to the edge, open hand splayed wide. "Whatever you think you saw -"

"You were kissing ," he hissed.

"I knew you thought that's what was happening... Will you come down? I can't even tell where you are. Please, give me a chance to explain. You can decide if you want me to go still afterward. I'll leave willingly."

The way Shiro said it was so calm and matter-of-fact that it made Keith's blood boil even more.

" Go away . I don't care what the hell you two were doing. I don't care . Just go. Just go ."

"Keith, please... I promise you it wasn't like that."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Keith grit out, pulling at his hair, heart full of self-loathing. "That boy in your story? The one who you were following when you got hit by the car - it was me . I'm the reason you can't see anymore. I'm the one at fault, not you, not anyone else. Me."

A sharp intake of breath. "What?"

"I didn't remember when you first told me. I was tortured all throughout my childhood, what's one incident? But then you mentioned the purple eyes and my limp and..."

Shiro went pale. "But when I asked what color your eyes were...?"

Keith shook his head roughly. "God. Shiro. It's all my fault. I'm the reason you're blind. I'm the reason you can't see. Here I am, seeing colors because of you, and there you are, completely in darkness because of me. This is how it'll be if you continue to hang around me. ...I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. You're the best person I know. You have the kindest heart and I wish I could give you the world. But I took it from you instead. There's nothing I can do to make up for it. Nothing." He fought it, but tears began to pour from his eyes. His throat tensed, his words breaking. "I made your life miserable and you were just trying to help. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Keith... I..."

"Leave me alone," he cried through the tears. "I'll just bring you more pain. You don't deserve that. You deserve someone who can make you happy, someone like Allura."

"But if you're my soulmate, then that means that the person who can make me happy is you , Keith."

"...Did you forget so soon? Fuck fate. Look at us! Fate fucking hates us. Carve your own path." Keith slipped back and let himself sink to the ground again, drained. Spent. He just wanted to rot away into the ground and be swept off into the wind.

"You're forgetting!" Shiro called. "I said I was going to follow my heart too. ...And that's what I'm doing. I don't care about Allura or anyone else. God, Keith, even if you weren't my soulmate and they marched up to me right now, I'd still choose you.

"Keith. Listen to me. I've never met anyone like you. Being with you...it's like a part of my soul that's been missing has finally come home. You're home. I want you , Keith. No one else. I don't care if they're the king or queen of the universe. I want you."

Keith rolled onto his side, pressing a hand to his chest. He felt like it was being pried open, bleeding out.

"And it's not your fault, Keith. I was the one who decided to chase after you that day. I'm glad it was me who got hit and not you. If I could go back in time to change it, the only thing I'd change is your leg getting hurt. I'd get hit by that car again a thousand times over if it means I get to meet you..."

"Shiro..." Keith said, pushing himself up. "Don't say that..." His heart felt raw, his soul vulnerable.

There was a scuffle down below and a small yelp.

Keith darted for the edge of the roof, peering down.

Shiro was trying to make it across the board dangling precariously between two buildings. A fifty foot drop inches from where Shiro slowly navigated without sight.

Keith's heart stopped beating. "What are you doing ?"

"If you won't come to me, then I'm coming to you. I won't let anything stop me."

"You're going to get hurt," Keith cried. "Just stop. Stop!" Swinging his leg over the edge of the roof and climbing down the ladder as quickly as he could, Keith rushed to meet Shiro.

But it was too late. Shiro slipped, cane falling from his hand. Keith could hear it clacking against the board and whooshing away, down, down, down. Time stretched. It seemed like forever hung between them before it hit the cement below with a terrible ominous crack .

Keith turned. Shiro was clumsily trying to regain his balance, but the board was too rickety. It tilted beneath Shiro's feet.

It was Keith's worst nightmare. He couldn't climb fast enough to save the one he loved. So close, but so far. He'd have to watch as Shiro fell to his death.

Keith reached out, heart in his mouth, but he wasn't paying attention to himself, too focused on Shiro... He slipped off the ladder, eyes flying wide as he remembered himself, and fell instead.

He didn't remember the fall or hitting the ground, but when he woke up, everything was swirling in blacks and whites, noxious colors swimming along the edges of his vision, dancing away like fairies.

"Keith?" He heard, voice tense in fear. "Keith, talk to me."

"Hmm..." he hummed, reaching up to feel the hands brushing his hair. It wasn't a gesture he was used to and it confused him.

"Hey. Hey. I know it's hard, but can you tell me your name?"

He huffed out a bitter sigh. " Keith ."

A huge breath of relief. "Oh, thank god. And mine?"

He blinked. It took a lot more effort than he thought he had to regain his focus, but when he managed it, there was Shiro, eyes wide with worry as he huddled over Keith.

Keith had been pulled onto his lap, head nestled protectively against his stomach.

"Shiro," he said softly, a prayer, grabbing at his hands and clinging to them. Shiro changed the position of them and squeezed them tightly, eyes scrunching up in relief. Tears budded and released down his cheeks in silent streaks.

"You're okay," Shiro whispered.

"...Did I fall...?" He asked dizzily, trying to remember where they were.

"Just to this ledge, thank god. We're on the auditorium roof, aren't we?"

"Mm... Told you not to come. I was so scared you were going to fall..."

"I needed to explain. Allura comes from a different culture. I've known her since we were kids, we went to high school together; we're like siblings. I was telling her about you...about how I feel about you. And in her culture, a kiss...it's not right to say it doesn't mean anything, but it's not like that. It's not romantic. It's like a blessing. She thinks you're good for me. She was giving her okay."

"God," Keith sighed, pressing his hands to his face to better hide himself. "I really thought..."

Shiro grimaced in pain. "I wouldn't do that to you. I want you to know that. I'd never do that to you."

Keith laughed weakly. "...I'm sorry. To both you and Allura. I feel so stupid... It was an overreaction.

"It's just...I'm scared. I've never been happy before... Never. I don't know how to take it. It's easy to run, I guess, instead of to face it."

"We'll work on it. Together."

"And the guilt now, knowing your blindness is my fault... Shiro, I..."

"It's not your fault," Shiro said, squeezing his hand again. "I promise you, I could never blame you, not even before I knew you. ...But we'll work on that, too. And it'll take time, it will, but we'll have that time."

Keith took in a sharp breath, overcome again by the beauty of his soul. He'd never meet anyone more beautiful, he knew that already. "I love you," he whispered, tears forming in his eyes again. "You're everything to me."

"Keith..." Shiro whispered, words cut off as his throat tightened. "I feel like I've been looking for you all my life... And now that I've finally found you, I feel whole. ...I love you, too. More than you could know."

They stayed there for awhile longer, blanketed beneath the stars, enjoying the soft understanding between the two of them. It was a breath of relief after what felt like such an ordeal. A silly, silly ordeal.

Well, that was in the past now. The future was unwinding beneath their feet, a galaxy of possibilities. Keith didn't feel quite as scared to face them with Shiro holding onto him.

When Keith's headache subsided enough to pick himself up, they finally decided it was time to leave. He helped Shiro across the board again - carefully, so carefully - and they made their way through the auditorium and out, stopping on the way to Shiro's room only to get his cane, which was broken clean in half and needed to be replaced.

"Stay the night?" Shiro asked as they stopped in front of his door.

Keith looked up at him, the light of his life, and knew he never wanted to be separated from him again. "Yeah," he whispered, taking Shiro's hand.


	7. Chapter 7

Keith woke to an annoying buzzing.

He was too warm and too comfortable to get up, so he ignored it, allowing himself to float through limbo. Maybe the world was on fire; others could deal with it, sleep seemed much more important at the moment.

There was a soft shuffle beside him and then a disgruntled groan, " Keith ."

That voice could make him do anything. He inhaled sharply and rolled onto his back, pressing his fingers into his eyes.

As the obnoxious buzzing continued, Shiro moaned.

"I'll get it, I'll get it," Keith sighed, reaching his hand out without opening his eyes, smacking against the nightstand futilely.

He finally made contact, shoving it to his ear. "What?" He grunted, refusing to open his eyes still.

"Hellooooo? You told me you'd call me back like a week ago."

"I texted you," he defended grumpily.

"That was a week ago, when you told me you'd call me ."

Keith groaned.

He heard Shiro shifting on the bed beside him and he dared to crack his eyes open, allowing himself to take in the sight.

Keith had assumed from the beginning that Shiro was a god, and the more he got to know him, the more he believed that hypothesis. He watched as Shiro's back expanded and contracted with each breath; he switched the phone over into his other hand so he could reach over and trace his fingers along Shiro's spine. Shiro hummed contentedly and shivered a little at the contact.

"So," Lance said. "About the wedding."

"God," Keith huffed, rolling onto his side and pressing his fingers back into his eyes. "It's too early for this shit."

"It's one in the afternoon."

"And? Look. I've said it before and I'll say it again: you're making a huge mistake. You can't marry Sara. You have to date for like...at least a year. At least."

"It's Sammy ," Lance despaired. "You keep getting her name wrong."

"You always do this," Keith groaned. "You think you're ready to go off and elope and then, next week, you're dating someone else. I can't keep up with your girlfriends' names."

"Yeah, yeah, we can't all be like you and Shiro ."

Keith wrinkled his nose, but didn't deny it. He knew he was lucky. He woke up and thought it everyday. During lunch, looking across the table at Shiro, he thought it again. And then, as they went back for the night into their dorm that Keith had newly moved into, he thought it again.

He was so damn lucky. The stars were painted across Shiro's face at every moment, reminding him that miracles could happen.

He smiled, rolling over into Shiro's chest, snuggling his face into his neck.

Shiro inhaled deeply out of sleep, a smile already spreading over his face as he reached his arms up to hold onto him.

"Is that Lance?" He asked.

"Mmhmm."

"Hi, Lance," he said.

From the receiver, Lance called, "Heeeey, Shiro." There was that tone in his voice, halfway between happy for them and exasperated because they were that couple.

"How're the wedding plans?" Shiro asked, brushing his fingers through Keith's hair.

"Keith's not taking me seriously. After I helped him all those time when he was moping over you. I'm hurting here. Hurting ."

Shiro chuckled softly. "Thanks again, Lance."

"Oh, yeah. Anything for my buddies. You'll help me out, won't you? What do you think? Outside wedding or inside wedding?"

"Uh, isn't that something to ask your girlfriend?"

"She doesn't care! Can you believe it? My heart hurts here!"

"Lance," Keith said, "we've got to go. Shiro's got to get ready for his concert in the park. I need to find pants."

" God . You're trying to get rid of me, aren't you? Aren't you?"

Keith heaved a sigh. "We've just got to go."

"Shiro, don't let him do this to me!"

Shiro just laughed as Keith leapt at him, ripping the phone from his hand. Keith said mercilessly, "Goodbye, Lance."

"Wait, wait, wait. Look out your window."

"What?" His eyes slid down to Shiro's, who stared back innocently. He crawled over Shiro, across the bed, and over to the window, pulling the curtain back. There, on the sidewalk, was Lance in his winter gear, wide smile on his face, phone in his hand, and large suitcase by his side.

"Surpriseeee," he laughed weakly.

"God," Keith whispered, ending the call. He let the curtain fall and rounded on Shiro, poking him on the nose with an accusatory finger. "You did this."

Shiro held his hands up in surrender for a moment before allowing them to rest on Keith's hips again. Keith fell into his lap, frowning.

"Now, I can't see what kind of face you're making, but please don't be mad."

"I'm mad."

"Keith... It's Christmas. He's been wanting to see you. He's family."

Keith wrinkled his nose and let his face fall into Shiro's shoulder. "Whhhy...?"

"I want you to have a good Christmas filled with warmth and happiness and love. Lance is your brother."

Keith took in a deep breath, letting the anger unwind out of his shoulders and chest. Selfishly, he had wanted to have this Christmas with only Shiro. To have him all to himself. But the thought was so sweet. Shiro was always trying to do his best for everyone and lately, he'd been worrying about Keith's past, like it was a physical thing that could hurt him.

But the resentment Keith had for his father and mother was unwinding already. He wasn't a saint, he wasn't Shiro; he'd probably never fully forgive them for leaving, but he felt like he had a family now and that meant everything.

Even if he annoyed the heck out of Keith, Lance was, of course, part of that family. Shiro knew that and brought him home.

Keith could feel a lump growing in his throat at the thought of how different this Christmas was already in comparison to a year ago, where he had sat, alone in his cold disgusting apartment.

"Thank you, Shiro," Keith said softly, nestling into the curves of Shiro's body and placing a chaste kiss to his cheek. "I don't deserve you. But I'm already getting all those things this Christmas. This is already the best Christmas I've ever had."

Shiro's smile was equally as soft as Keith's. "Mine too," he whispered. "Now, get up." He patted Keith on the hip. "We have to let Lance in before he freezes. I'm excited to meet him face-to-face."

"He'll be fine out there. Let me sleep... You're warm."

"Wasn't it supposed to snow?"

"Oh, yeah, it's totally white out there. You can hardly see the sidewalk."

" Keith ."

Keith laughed mischievously, hopping off of Shiro and grabbing his clothes from the ground with another quick kiss to Shiro's forehead. " Fine . I'll go get him. But only because you told me to."

Shiro snorted. "Uh, do you see my clothes?"

"Here," Keith picked them up from the floor with his feet and tossed them to Shiro. "Be right back."

There had been no need, though. Allura had already gotten the door and was being cornered by Lance's "charm".

"God," Keith whispered, chuckling as he made his way downstairs. Lance didn't even pay him any attention as Keith walked past and tossed him an irritated wave. Allura smiled at Keith and waved back pleasantly, but her attention went right back to Lance. She was frowning slightly, but there was warm amusement in her eyes. Keith watched, confused.

He left them for the kitchen, getting the kettle started.

Hands wrapped around his waist and warmth pressed against his back as Shiro came in, hugging him tightly.

Keith smiled, leaning into it. "I haven't smoked since I showered. I don't still smell like it, do I? What gives me away now?"

"I can just tell. You smell like you. And the way you grab things - surprisingly graceful."

"Well," Keith huffed out in mock-offence. "Surprisingly?"

" You," Shiro muttered fondly, shoving his face into Keith's hair as he squeezed him tightly.

"Okay, okay, I yield, I yield ," Keith laughed, wriggling around in his hold.

"Oh, my god," came Lance's voice from the kitchen entrance. "Are they always like this? Is this what you have to live with?"

"I'm afraid so," Allura said, sighing, but she looked amused.

"Young love," Lance despaired dramatically, raising his arms to the sky. "Hey! Where's my hello?"

"I already gave it to you," Keith said, turning to look around Shiro's arms. "And you rejected it, asshole. That kind of love doesn't come twice."

"Fine. Shiro?" Lance asked.

Shiro turned, smiling widely, offering his hand. "It's good to finally meet you, Lance. Keith speaks fondly of you."

"Only when I'm not around though, right?" Lance nodded knowingly, smacking his hand hard into Shiro's and grabbing his hand with both of his. "You're about twice as tall and five times cooler than I expected for someone like Keith. You sure he's what you want?"

Shiro huffed a laugh, reaching behind him for Keith's hand.

Keith caught it in his, squeezing.

"Yep," Shiro said breathlessly. "More than."

"Oh, god," Lance muttered, turning to share a knowing look with Allura. "Kill me if I ever become that sappy."

Allura laughed into the back of her hand.

Keith gawked. She actually looked...charmed... He knew exactly what that meant and he sure didn't get it. Poor Sarah, though. Or Sammy. Whatever her name was.

"Okay, okay," Keith said, grabbing his and Shiro's mug before scooting him out of the kitchen and up the stairs. "He's got to get ready for his performance. No disturbances!"

"What the heck!" He heard Lance yelling from downstairs. "Just leave me down here like this. Oh, he always does this. Plays hard to get. It's his game ."

"Oh? He didn't seem that way with Shiro."

"What! That little..."

Keith snickered into Shiro's back as he pushed him into their room. "Did you see Lance's face? Five dollars says Lance and Allura are dating by tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Shiro's eyebrows rose into his forehead. "You're on. Allura doesn't date. Besides...isn't Lance getting married? He was literally just talking about what kind of wedding it should be this morning."

Keith rolled his eyes as he dug through the closet for Shiro's outfit.

There was a blanket of snow out on the quad where the concert was being held. The redwoods that rose into the sky were wrapped cozily in twinkling lights, but they were nothing next to the large tree decorated in ornaments and tinsel beside the outdoor stage. The light was blaring. Keith and Lance huddled together for warmth, still shivering, hands wrapped around cups of hot cocoa topped with little marshmallows.

"The red hat Mom knit you," Lance noted with a grin. "Mom'll be happy. Selfie!"

"God. No. Put the phone away. What are you doing?"

"It's for Mom!" Lance crowed happily, leaning back into Keith's space and taking the pic. He righted himself and shoved his face to his phone, editing. "Look at your face, it's ridiculous. She's going to love this."

Keith hummed noncommitedly, only half-computing as he watched Lance type in addresses. Several addresses.

"Hey, is that Shiro's -"

Sent. Lance looked up with a devilish smile.

"I hate you," Keith stated. "Hate you."

"Nah. No, you don't. You love me."

"Get off."

"I'm your favorite person."

"That's definitely false."

"Well, besides Shiro anyway." Lance pressed himself back upright and looked over at the stage. "I can't believe I'd see the day. My little Keith-y neefy falling in love. And boy, how hard you fell."

Keith blushed red but didn't even think of denying it. It was Shiro so it was okay.

"He seems to really care about you," Lance hummed lowly. "I sort of expected it when I came here, but I wasn't ready for it to be this bad . You're so whipped. And you're happy about it ."

"I know it's only been a few months, but even within that time, he's changed me. Things are different now."

Lance watched him thoughtfully, face inches from his own. Keith rose his eyebrows at him, irritation growing again.

"Like I said," Lance rose his eyebrows. "You've fallen so hard. When's the wedding?"

"I'm not you ," Keith grunted, pushing him.

"Keith!" Pidge called from behind them. She was smiling cheekily, eyes narrowed at Lance. "I didn't know you had friends ."

"He's not," Keith denied at the same time Lance clarified, tossing his arm around Keith's shoulders, " best friends ."

Matt, Hunk, Allura, and a few others of their friends were there too, all smiling happily as Keith introduced them to Lance.

Pidge huddled into Keith's other side, lacing her arm through his. She pushed her glasses to her face as she looked up at Keith. "Man, I haven't seen you without your other half since I first met you, I think. It's weird. It's like seeing you without a shoe or something. I'm uncomfortable just looking at you."

Keith chuckled under his breath. "It is weird."

The sound of instruments warming up brightened the air. Keith blinked to attention, smacking Lance on the chest to get him to shut up.

The curtains were pulled away slowly, revealing the orchestra, and, most importantly, Shiro sitting tall at the piano. He was dressed up in a tie and tuxedo.

Keith's heart melted at the sight.

"He cleans up well," Pidge hummed in approval.

Keith nodded seriously, eyes trained on him.

He swatted Lance's finger away with a loud crack as he poked Keith's cheek.

He could barely hear Lance snort, "he looks like a dog on high alert staring after his master."

"'Master'," Pidge groaned. "Don't say that about my friends."

"Oh, god, no, I didn't mean it like that, I swear."

The chatter around him melted away as the song began with only the sweet soft twinkle of the piano, Shiro's arms lifting and flowing at his sides as he moved with confidence and control.

God. He was so beautiful. Keith couldn't believe his luck. If waiting all these years, lonely and miserable, meant that he got to keep Shiro in the end, he'd do it again and again. If it meant he would only get a day with Shiro, he'd do it then too.

Shiro was everything to him.

"Oh, my god," Lance was cracking up, and Keith barely registered the sound of his phone madly taking pictures. "He's crying! He's actually crying! I didn't think he'd do it."

"Ten dollars," Allura demanded smugly, holding her hand out cooly as Lance grumbled and handed it over.

It was morning. Light was softly streaming in through the curtains and Keith was awake, watching as dust floated lazily through the air. Shiro's head was in his lap and he ran his fingers through his hair in soothing caresses, thinking fondly about everything he was grateful for.

It was awhile before he noticed there was a soft smile on Shiro's lips. Keith leaned down and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Shiro turned, meeting him halfway, kissing him back tenderly.

"Morning," Keith murmured.

"Mm...what time is it? How long have you been awake?"

"Forever."

Shiro huffed, rubbing his face into Keith's thigh.

"Like fifteen minutes maybe."

"What're you thinking about?"

"You."

Shiro hummed, smiling happily. "Me too. I was dreaming about you."

"What a coincidence. I was just dreaming about you ."

"Oh, man, we are pretty bad, aren't we?" Shiro chuckled, feeling almost a bit delirious.

Keith joined in. He could hardly care. "The worst probably."

The laughed silently until their stomachs hurt.

"By the way," Keith said with a shit-eating grin. "You owe me five dollars."

"For what?"

"Lance just spent the night in Allura's room."

" What?"

"Check yourself, if you dare. When I went to use the bathroom last night, I saw him go in there. Who knows, maybe he's finally found someone who can handle him."

"What? But he has a girlfriend! They were going to get married!"

Keith just shook his head, contenting himself with continuing to run his hands through Shiro's hair. "That's Lance for you. I told you he wasn't actually serious."

"But marriage !"

Keith chuckled. "So Lance. They only knew each other for a few months. Barely longer than we've known each other."

Shiro hummed, leaning into Keith's touch. "...When you put it that way, I guess I can see it. I feel like I've known you forever."

"Hm. In a way, we have. I just didn't know it was you and you just didn't know it was me."

"You don't even remember seeing me when you were a kid."

"No, and I -"

"-No apology necessary," Shiro said, reaching his hand up into Keith's shirt.

"Okay," Keith nodded, taking in a deep breath. "Alright."

Shiro rolled onto his side and crawled closer, pressing his lips to Keith's stomach. He chased the line up his ribs before stopping, smiling into his skin. "I just remembered something."

"What's that?" Keith hummed happily, playing with the ends of Shiro's forelock.

"It's Christmas. ...Merry Christmas, Keith."

"Oh!" he laughed. He had completely forgotten. He found himself not even bitter at the thought of Christmas. He was grinning . "Merry Christmas! I got you something. It's stupid though," he warned.

Shiro laughed. "Oh, no."

Keith leaned over to their nightstand and handed it over.

Shiro pushed himself up into a seated position and began to carefully unfold the wrapping. He was meticulous about it, making sure not to make a mess everywhere. Keith bounced antsily.

Shiro felt it between two hands. "Ooh, a sweater? It's so soft."

Keith grinned, eyes trained on his face. "It's an ugly sweater, to replace the one you've got. It's not violent this time. I got a matching one too."

Shiro laughed loudly, from his belly, smoothing it out between his hands. "What's it of?"

"It's cute, I swear. The base color of it is red -"

"-Your signature -"

Keith smiled, "Mine's purple. And there are flecks of snow all throughout it, and in the center are two robot lions, together."

"Robot lions? What the heck?"

"It reminded me of us," Keith laughed, leaning forward to poke his nose. "If you hate it, we can return it."

"Not so fast. I'm going to cherish this forever."

"Wow. That's so long."

" Forever ."

Keith laughed.

Shiro wiggled into the sweatshirt, tugging it over his stomach and opening his arms wide. "How do I look?"

"Amazing," Keith said warmly, and he meant it. Shiro took his breath away. He tossed himself into Shiro's open arms and hummed happily.

"Your turn now! Matt helped me pick it out. He was worried I would choose something awful. I think he's trying to look after you."

"Matt? Wow. I feel special."

"You should. I told you he'd warm up to you. You're you, after all."

Shiro fell back, bringing them both onto the bed. He shifted so that he could reach over the side of the bed and grab a small box beneath.

"You've been hiding a present underneath the bed?"

"Yeah, well, you've got sight, okay? There's only so much I can do."

Keith laughed, pressing the side of his face to Shiro's chest as he reached for the present. "Did you wrap this?"

"I tried. How does it look?"

"Way better than mine. Figures."

"Maybe I should become a professional package wrapper."

"Okay, not that good, hot shot." He tore the wrapping off in one go, revealing a curved box inside. "Sunglasses?" He blinked in surprise. They were about twenty times nicer than the ones he always wore and were somehow just his style.

He slipped them on. "They're so comfortable. It's like they're not even there."

"You like them?" Shiro asked hopefully. "I remember you mentioning before that yours hurt your face, and since you wear them so often..."

Keith pushed them up onto his head and stared at Shiro. "You are the most thoughtful person in the world."

"Aww," Shiro smiled brightly, lighting up like the sun.

"The best person. The most generous, caring, sweetest -"

"-Okay, now you're just trying to butter me up for something, aren't you?"

Keith laughed, tossing himself over Shiro again and wrapping his arms around his neck tightly. "Thank you," he murmured softly. They were sunglasses, but they felt like the world.

"And thank you ," Shiro pressed his lips to Keith's temple.

"Oh, god," Keith breathed, nuzzling into the soft skin beneath Shiro's chin. "If only I had known you were here, waiting for me, I would've come running right away."

"As I recall, you were climbing out of windows to avoid me at first."

Had he really? That seemed like another lifetime ago. "Well, I didn't know at that time. And I was scared."

"You're not anymore, right?"

"No," Keith whispered, pulling himself up to rub his nose against Shiro's. It was too cute to ignore. He tilted his head and nibbled on it. "You're the best. The best present wrapper."

Shiro laughed, running his hands over his sweater. "This is the comfiest thing I think I've ever owned. Can't wait to burn Matt's sweater."

Keith laughed softly under his breath. "You don't have to go that far."

"Oh, I do."

Shiro's face was so soft against his fingertips. He ran them along his strong jawline and up his cheeks to the scar over the bridge of his nose.

"I can tell what you're thinking," Shiro said softly. "And there's no need to be sorry."

"I wasn't going to say it," Keith said.

"No?"

"No," he whispered. "I was just thinking how pretty your eyes are."

Shiro hummed, smiling tenderly. "I doubt they're as pretty as yours. You. And your blue eyes."

Keith laughed. "Oh, right. I said that, didn't I?"

"You did."

"Well, I mean, we are newly in this relationship. There are still things we need to learn about each other; it's going to take time. And there is one thing I need to confess."

Shiro hummed knowingly. "What's that?" He brushed Keith's hair from his face in subconscious strokes.

"I lied to you." He kept his voice low, serious.

Shiro's smile grew. "What about?"

"Something very serious."

"Yeah? Should I get ready to call the police?"

Keith pressed his smile down. "Maybe. My eyes aren't blue."

Shiro gasped in mock surprise. "What? You lied to me?"

"Yeah. I was dumb."

"Let me guess? Green?"

Keith laughed aloud, throwing his head back. He rolled onto his side, reaching up to weave his fingers through Shiro's. "They're purple, silly. You're not crazy, after all. Looks like we won't have to lock you away in the looney bin."

"Yeah? That's the greatest gift of all this year." He lowered his voice, "Well, besides you, of course."

Keith laughed as he pulled back, looking at Shiro's face. His soft lips that always smiled. His grey kind eyes. The scar across his nose that spoke of his kindness even more.

Keith said, "...The first day I saw you was the first day I saw color. It was beautiful." And then, even softer, "You're beautiful. I never believed in love until I met you. That's the truth."

"Keith," Shiro said, rolling them both onto their sides so that they were face-to-face. "I love you. You're my life now."

The color that Keith saw may've been fate's touch, but Shiro was Keith's decision. Grey and white, or pure darkness, he'd choose Shiro no matter what; he knew Shiro would do the same for him. His heart felt like bursting when he realized that was what love was about. And he knew that now.

Him. Keith. Knowing about love.

Who would've ever thought?

Colors or not, Shiro was his. Keith clung to him and he knew from that moment onward, he would never let go.


End file.
